Prologue I got home and ran straight to my room. I sat on my bed and started crying. That cry when you don't want to cry, you don't want to believe whats happening. Your whole body shakes, and your lip starts to quiver, and the tears build up quickly and fall fast. Your trying to hold it in, trying not to make a sound, but it hurts to much to hold in so you let out a yelp and then you can't breathe, so you continue taking in big, shuddery breaths...That kind of cry. I wasn't really surprised because #life was a struggle for me. Day after I day I got home and locked myself in my room so my alcoholic father wouldn't beat me, although that was very seldom. Today I got lucky. I got up to go to the bathroom and got my blades out of the secret compartment under the floorboards... I know cutting isn't right but it's the only happiness I get in #life, to feel I have the power to do so much damage... It's the only joy besides my friend (the only one I have) .MJ and I have been friends since the first grade. He's been there for me to the very end and I can tell him everything. He tried to help me with me cutting but it didn't really work. But like a true friend, he refuses to give up on me... I vaguely remember the day he found out I was depressed. He saw my cuts and I told him my story. My #life. My hopes and dreams... And when I told him about the suicide thoughts, all he said was "do not give up on yourself, because as soon as you do, not even five minutes later I'll be up there in heaven with you." "What is #depression like?" He whispered. All I said was "Its like drowning, except you can see everyone around you breathing." So this is a fight for me, a fight not only for my own, but for mp my only friends too. The question is, can I do it? I'm CJ