...walks In To A Bar A man walks in to a bar with a giraffe. He orders one pint for himself and ten for the giraffe. The giraffe downs his pints really quickly and passes out. The man finishes his pint and heads to the door. "Oy!" the barman shouts, "you can't leave that lyin' there!". The man turns back and says "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!".

Another Phrase "You don't have to be mad to live (work) here, but it helps" Unknown, but oft repeated by my lovely Mother!

Phrases "The more sh*t you throw at a wall, the more will stick" Unknown, but repeated by my Area Manager this afternoon.

Mondays? People say that they don't like Mondays, or they hate going back to work on a Monday after their weekend. Well, I can catergorically state now, Tuesdays after a four day bank holiday weekend are much worse!! Blessed is the four day week.

Sleep It's such an elusive thing. Fleeting. Sitting on the sofa watching the TV, you feel you eyelids start to droop and so take yourself to bed. Once there however, you feel wide awake, unable to recapture that moment that was so close. You don't give in though, you're convinced that if you lay still long enough that you will fall asleep. That position just isn't comfortable though, maybe this one. Eventually the light goes on. Maybe Hamlet should've said 'to sleep perchance to read'. You read the book. Eyes become heavy once more. Light out, head down...where has it gone? Sleep stands in the corner mockingly. So close, yet just out of reach it seems. If only we could feel this awake in the middle of that important business meeting. Maybe they should be held horizontally. Eventually it comes. You don't notice it. By that time it's too late. You're already there.