Chapter 2 I'm sorry I haven't mentioned my father. Let me tell you a fact for every occasion I have seen him: his name is Jamie; he is from Ireland; I haven't seen him in over 10 years. I think that concludes his section. Now where were we. My early years I'm afraid probably were not that interesting. Imagine an overweight and yet gangly child that dreamed to fit in and be one of the pretty girls. I can almost smell the self pity. Well that was me. It didn't matter though as my nan loved me. Or so I was told as I was fed another fish finger sandwich.. I don't remember when I decided that I'd had enough of being fat. When I decided that gaining a stone for every year of my #life was getting a little out of hand. I was 12 and weighed 12 and a half stone. It was time to change. As long as I can remember my nan had been on a diet. It was praised to have not eaten since breakfast and applauded to have not eaten at all. In hindsight no one can really be surprised of what happened next. After the summer of year 8 I returned to school a new woman, or so I thought. 2 stone lighter I had blossomed, had my first kiss and walked back into my stuck up girls grammar with admiring glances wherever I went. "You've got so skinny Jane" "you look amazing Jane" "what's your secret?" My secret was obvious. I hadn't eaten a meal in 2 months. I exercised every day and was losing hair as fast as I was losing weight. I was slowly being overwhelmed by anorexia. I wasn't disgustingly skinny. I wasn't even underweight. But what many people fail to comprehend is that anorexia is not a physical illness alone but psychological torment that can lead a plump preteen with an excess of puppy fat to hate her body and be in constant fear of whatever passed her lips. I don't remember much of it to be quite honest. What to me seemed like a few months apparently continued for a year and a half. I feel quite bad really. Bad for my friends, my family, my teachers, who had to watch me fall deeper and deeper under the control of the disease. But to me I was completely in control. For 13 years I had had no control over my broken family but for once I was in control of something. I didn't have control over anyone calling me ugly but I would not allow anyone to have the chance to call me fat. As I write this now, scotch egg in one hand, bag of maltesers in the other, it seems like I'm writing about a different person. But I was soon to realise that there was something better than total control; it took one person to show me that the greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return.

Chapter 1 Let me introduce myself; I shall call myself Jane; Jane for being full of anonymity and ironically dull. I am 18 years and 10 months old and I was born in London. This is where my story begins. At 8.49am in South London, an 18 year old girl gave birth to her daughter; it was a Friday and her name was Gina. This, as you can probably guess, was my mother. Now I will not deny that she loved me and still loves me as I write this now, but I cannot deny that at that times I have struggled to believe this fact. As an 18 year old myself I can understand how difficult it must have been bringing up a child alone. I cannot however, excuse what happened. After approximately 2 weeks, Gina gave me to her parents, my grandparents, Susan and Joe. I'll stop you before your mind wanders, this is not a tale of child abuse. I was not kept in a cellar or abused by my uncle. I had a wonderful childhood, blissfully unaware of the world and full of the wondrous childish naïveté, something I do wish I could have clung on to. We lived in London for a total of 3 years, enough that I insist I am a Londoner at heart, but not nearly enough that anyone believes that this grammar schooled Kent-dwelling young lady could ever have London roots. But I don't need to tell you that one should never judge a book by its cover, or indeed a girl by her smile.

Disclaimer I am not a writer; I have no degree in English Literature or Language and it is not my chosen career. My technique will not inspire you and my vocabulary will in no way astound you. I am merely an average woman writing about her #life for the off chance that someone out there may find it entertaining. All characters are true, albeit with different names of course, and every event has occurred, if sometimes in a slightly different order. I will jump back and forward through time and cannot confirm that I will finish. Thank you for joining me on my journey and I hope you enjoy the ride.