My mother proposed to my father after 2 weeks together, She said she just knew. I have been with you for 3 weeks, I think i know.

You've claimed my pale skin as yours, Coloured the sharpness of my collarbone, Left a visible mark of your desire, For everyone to see. You ignited a fire in my skin, And a tenderness in my heart, After 3 short weeks, And im already attached. But im not afraid, I think you're the one. You want to tell me you love me, But are afraid it'll scare me away. Those words have bubbled to my tongue, Almost slipped out of my mouth, Almost whispered to your heart, What I thought an impossibility. How can i love someone, After 3 weeks. How can you love me, After 3 weeks. I know you're scared, So I won't say it, I won't make you say it, But you should know.

My arms are littered with bruises from the pressure of my teeth, Too afraid of the permanence of scars. My friends eyes red with lack of sleep, And fingernail marks from where ive gripped them in panic. They had to lift me from the floor, And carry me to the couch, Where they pleaded for me to come back to them, Back to where they were. I was stuck in the memory, Reliving that night. Their hands were her hands, Their voices his voice. Their touch sent me into shock as they fought to comfort me. It was a rollercoaster of tears, screaming, shaking and madness. Sometimes i was here, sometimes i was there again. Until i fell asleep, i shook violently; The chill starting in my bones. I wept on my friend's chest as he held me as we slept. He had nothing to offer but his arms and his warmth; For the demons im fighting are in my head. And the reasons are coming back to town.

Its not poetic When you're shaking on your living room floor, Tears soaking your jumper, Throat raw and head pounding, Scared to move in case your body betrays you and you pick up a razor. It's not poetic When the only thing keeping you alive, Is knowing your boss would get mad at you for not covering your classes first.

The first thought i had upon waking up this morning made me lose all hope in my recovery. "I want to die."