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Thomas

Aspiring writer with journalistic views if anyone has any feedback on any of my stories

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ترجم   منذ 12 سنوات

The Tapping Opening scene..... For sale sign (white background red lettering) Dafney : (on cellphone) Yeah we are desperate for a sale , we will discuss this price then ? ......(other end) will how about $90,000 ? ...... (Cellphone) yeah anything too get a quick sale , we are desperate for a move too start our new #life! (Other end) so Ms Gray is that a delineate sale then ? (Cellphone) Yeah Phill, so will you forward the relevant documents by your partner , McCaskell & Sons Real Estate Agents then as I will have too let Jacob know ? (Other end) Yeah absolutely we will be in touch , thank you very much Dafney , bye. Dafney (calls Jacob) Hey Jacob , the house is sold , Phil dealt with it , so we better get packing , speak too you later honey bye . Scene 2 : Building site: Jacob (cellphone) rings ..... Hello ? (Other side) Hi Mr Gray , this is Phillip McCaskell , just too let you know the sale has went through and I will process the money into your bank account in the excess of $90,000 , which your wife brokered the deal , thanks very much for your business and thanks for choosing us. (Cellphone) Yeah that's correct she's so persistent that we move into her grandmothers house which was left too her in the will, great thanks for being a friend , okay see you later Phillip bye. Jacob: (walks too leave building site and goes too his truck) Starts engine and drives too sold house Scene 3: (SOLD sign now covers sign) Dafney : putting last of belongings into boxes , (singing Dolly Parton , working 9 till 5 ) (Jacob stands in the doorway , laughing at Dafney ) Dafney : (looks round) Hey honey, help me with these boxes into truck ....(both start lifting the boxes into the truck) . ( they both get in the truck & set off too they're new house 20 minutes away) Scene 4: (Truck drives up too house) (It's a 5 bedroom rundown Farmhouse with a double garage) Dafney: We are finally here , lets unpack & have a look around. Jacob: (Turns off engine & gets out truck) Dafney I am going too have a look around myself , okay babe. Dafney : Yeah aw so I have too put everything inside myself? Jacob: I will be back in 5 minutes . ( sets off too look around, he looks around too see a general store with a old man sitting outside in a wicker chair ) He walks up too the oldman ..... Jacob: Hey old-timer ? How's business been ? Gabe: Hey sir, business is been slow , are you moving Into the old Crandall place ? Jacob: We sure are sir, it's my wife's grandmothers old house, Sylvia Crandall ? Gabe : Really little Dafney, I remember her from when she was a little girl visiting her grandmother. Sylvia was a lovely woman, just a shame what happened there..... Jacob : ( quite perplexed look on his face) really what happened there, Daffney never mentioned anything too me .....? Gabe: I've said too much sir, best ask the young lady ! Scene 5: Dafney ( looking around house quite dusty n dirty, no one has dusted or cleaned for a long time) ( she hears a bang from downstairs in the cellar , she goes towards the door too investigate, her hand reaches the door handle, ) Jacob: (touches Dafney's shoulder ) (loud musical score) Dafney : You bastard, that scared me !!! Where did you go, you've been gone for a long time? Jacob: I was talking too this old man , Gabe who has run this store 5 mins from the house, he knew your grandmother ! Dafney: Yeah he was always nice too me, he liked my grandmother , like he held a torch for her ... Jacob: Yeah he said something about "what happened here" ? Why didn't you tell me , what happened , Dafney ? Dafney: Jake I don't want too talk about it, (runs off too the bathroom)

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