I liked this boy for almost three years, and I struggled with it because he didn't feel the same. But then I traveled to Spain. I met a guy and in the instant we first talked all my feelings for the other guy weren't so strong, and even though I only hung around him in Spain for a few hours, I fell for him. Now that I'm home I can't stop thinking of him. Before we talked he must have heard me say my favorite band was A Day to Remember because he used a cheesy line when he first talked to me. But I absolutely loved it. He said "you like A Day to Remember, yeah? Well this morning I was learning a song on guitar. You had me at hello. Like that song?" ever since then we have been talking almost nonstop. Our connection was almost instant. It's weird how the human heart falls for someone. I miss him but I've hardly been with him.

I really like this boy. But I accidentally friend zoned him. I didn't know how to act around him, I was always so nervous. I still am. It's been almost 3 years and I still like him. #life sucks.

Tabs Self confidence. For every ONE thing you don't like about yourself name TWO you do like. Keep yourself positive and no matter how much people tell you your not good enough, you are. Smile.

SARCASM: The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.

Even though this is not my diary, just like twitter an facebook aren't, It still makes me feel better to post what I feel an get it out of my system some way. I get annoyed of all people and I don't allow myself to get to close to people because all that has ever brought me is pain. So in that I've never had a best friend or someone to share secrets with. I just want someone to talk to and for them to understand me and why I do and act the way I do. It hurts when I have a close ish friend and they're the Closest thing I have to a best fiend but I'm still their 3rd choice. The only person I can consider my best friend would be my cousin and he's 5 states away... Sometimes I hate it at home because my parents expect so much from me. My oldest sister has issues that ultimately caused me to have issues. Trust issues. I also developed high anxiety and stress related issues. I know no one cares about this and that there is utterly no point in posting this, but it helps me feel a but better. No one knows I feel this way because I've become that damn good at hiding it. I should go into acting, but instead I want to be a detective to help people. Ironic... No one has ever offered to help me or go out of their way to make me happy like I do for people at least 3 times or more a day... Which is why I don't understand why everyone treats me like their 3rd option. I really believe people suck. We all just suck.