If only they knew what I know If only they'd listen to what I have to say If only they would learn from my mistakes If only they would keep my memories alive If only they knew They chatter and chitter They critique and they praise They demand the now without a thought for the previous They include and they exclude with a breathe If only they knew I speak they look I explain they laugh I smile they look away I grow silent they whisper If only they knew I was you I was there I wasn't patience I wanted If only I'd known

Today I have an opportunity to learn, observe, to understand. Today I will watch I will watch them do the things they do I will not judge They do not know They do as they do I create my own future and today I will watch

Today Im off to work I have a job that pays me money. Does it pay me what I'm worth? Probably not. Does it pay what I deserve? Probably. Does it inspire me ? No Does it inspire others? As much as an information booth or a mother nagging her kids does. Am I fulfilled? No not even close Why am I still there? Fear of the unknown, comfort. Why do I go? Mortgage, food, #life 9am to 5pm I see my colleagues more than my husband or my kids Why do I do it Rent, heat, food Another day Another dollar, another to retirement, another day closer to my demise But I have a job

This Year The Year Of Just Do It So last year I promised myself that I would do or try things that I wanted to do and never got round to. So my New year decision is to just do. Knowing my commitment to things can be at times flaky and want to document the things I just do. There are few ground rules 1. Has to be legal - Not that I desire to break the law but prefer not to get in trouble. 2. Must be safe - the whole point is to end the year in a better way than starting it 3. Must be beneficial in the long run - not saying that everything must have a purpose however maxing my credit cards on a shopping trip cause it was just do it. 4. Try to document what I try. And the reasons behind it. 5. Reflect on the past but live for the future. So I have started, I have already booked my course in jewellery making starts in March. Last week I started walking for 30mins in my lunch hour. I applied for a job that I previously had talked myself out of. I have for 1 full work week woken up and got up with my alarm. This is a big thing and probably the best for me Start the day on time and I'm not running to catch up . I have paid my lunch and taken it to work every day of the New Year. So on a personal level I'm doing ok Early days but good days. I'm going to expand on above over the week. For now till then Sarah B

Today I Need To Change ... something I need to change an aspect, a reason and move on with this in mind. I'm looking to improve empower and change my mindset. Today Im choosing not to argue. To enjoy my Sunday without the usual round of back and forth. Lets see how that works!!