I drowned myself in the ocean and became one with the waves in hopes that one day you'd venture out into the deep and I'd get the privilege to grace your sunbathed skin with my blue...

My friend Teresa told me her boyfriend just broke up with her tonight. She said they never had chemistry anyways and that it's a relief they are finally broken up. I don't understand why someone would be in a relationship if there is no chemistry. Anyways I hope she finds someone that will make her happy and that will make that chemistry with her. I really really do.

I first met Tommy 2 days before New Years. I was at a party full of people like me who drank and danced like the end of the world was just a sunrise away. Tommy was sitting in the middle if the living room on the floor encouraging everyone to partake in what might have been the third round of vodka shots. He was full of laughter and sarcasm. He had this monotone voice that could say the damnedest things that could make you laugh. From the way he was speaking I could tell he was quite the intellectual and that he was also quite intoxicated. I never spoke to him during the whole party and I can honestly say that I never thought he would be much a part of my #life and nor did I care then for this silly drunk person sitting in the middle of the living room floor. The First Year. As a newly graduated high school student I certainly did not feel like I needed to begin college anytime soon. I said to myself that I would have a year of fun with no responsibilities except perhaps a job to earn money for all the fun and trouble I intended to get into. I was not a rich kid an neither did my family have much money but I wanted to be irresponsible and reckless. I wanted to experience #life before it it to serious. I know that sounds selfish and cruel to do that to my parents but I was foolish and stupid and a teenager. The night feels full Of promise and I am promising myself that it will be mine. It always begins like this. I posses an energy and that energy must be spent recklessly

I see your tears and my own begin to flow

I have to believe that someday I will get over you. I have to believe that when I say I'm over you, I will truly mean it and believe it. But I'm telling you right now that belief seems like such an enormous doubt in my head and the only reason I'm writing this is so that hands won't find themselves writing to you and saying that I miss you. Because I know my friends will call me an idiot and I will call myself an idiot. But there's just the whole bothersome wonder of how you would reply to that. I guess I'll just go to sleep and toss and turn and face another night of defeat and my mind will return to the saddest place in my memory..your leave taking. When I had made my awful mistake.