TV Debut! So this very weekend I went on the telly Tried to sing like her and gave it some welly I was pampered and preened to look like kylie Spent the weekend living the #life of Riley But now the Twitter backlash has started You'd think I had flashed my backside and proudly farted! Shit, Crap, total wank She looked like a testical and sang like a plank Twitter it seems is the asshole of the planet Spouting out shit, saying insults damn it. The city of losers who sit on their ass Complain and cajole, press enter, run fast I loved my experience, a dream come true Sing on the telly something I always wanted to do I got picked from thousands and I grabbed the chance So sod off you twitters as I stand here and dance!

Twas The Week Before Christmas!! Twas the week before Christmas In my filthy house Nothing was done. Feeling a lazy louse No presents were wrapped no pudding Was cooked You sure it's Christmas? Well oil beef hooked ( say it fast in an Irish accent)!!!!! No cards were written no tinsel was Laid I'm no good at his Christmas thing I'm afraid So off to the shops I go to tackle the madness stop being a grinch and get rid of my sadness So On goes the red sparkly Santa hat Singing Christmas songs like a mad old bat Twas a week before Christmas in my crappy house Let's start the drinking where's the Christmas grouse?

The Silly Soldier! What lead me here in this darkest trench God it's cold and what is that awful stench? I wish the explosions would just stop please I don't want to go over the top It's the mud that is so very vile Oh to be clean for a little while The screams of my comrades that echo around The fear, the pain, my courage I haven't found The call has come. I must go over I reach in my pocket for my four leaf clover I clutch my gun and prey to god leap for my #life, trip over, land in mud, silly sod!!

Where Is The angel? Where can I find an angel? I would like to sit with her for a while You see I have a problem I seem to have lost my smile Does she sit in a wooded glen? Surrounded by flowers and trees Giving out smiles and laughs Could she give me mine please Can she do a part exchange? For all my sadness and pain Perhaps she could use my tears And turn it into rain I really need to see her And tell her to come And help me make it Through the loss of my mum.

Bluebell wood! Let's go down to the bluebell wood And lie amongst the flowers To feel the colour and warmth Look up to the sky for hours The peace and quiet envelopes me and soothes away my fears Just lying here in all its glory Haven't felt like this in years Let's go down to the bluebell wood Imagine the pain has gone You appeared among the flowers Said hello Anne tell me what's wrong Can't you stay here mum In this beautiful place? Remember when I washed you And stroked your stricken face She whispered I love you You did everything you could So lovely to see you one last time In this beautiful bluebell wood!