Translate   12 years ago

Rough Draft I scream as you pull the hair from my scalp. I cry as you call me a worthless bitch. I pray for God to save me...but for some reason, God never hears me. Well he threw me down the stairs to the basement and locks the door. I am 11. I miss him. Dad. I miss you. I love you. A couple hours later you open the door, walk half way down the stairs and throw a piece of bread at me and tell me to eat it...fast. If i dont eat it fast, he might take it away and my stomach will throb for another night. School is tomorrow. Relief. But he says to finish the chores before school or...no school tomorrow. So i stay up all night doing chores as he watches over my shoulder yelling at me that i wont finish in time. Punching me to the floor and kicking the hell out of me if i do something wrong. I accidently broke a dish. He pours his hot coffee on me and i scream. So he punches me. No supper tonight he tells me. When we arrive at school he gives my sister and brother lunch money...he must've just forgotten to give me some....for the past week. Well i was getting hungry and my stomach wouldnt let me forget. I ran to the bathroom, which is next to the cubbies where the other students lunch boxes are. I grab a blue lunch box from the second row and go into the bathroom. I scarf a hotdog down as fast as i could. Instinct. Then i put the lunch box back and am satisfied. I ran home as fast as i could hoping Dad wasn't in a weird mood. He seemed to be okay. Until he smelt the hotdog on me. He grabbed my hair and dragged me to the bathroom toilet. He told me to throw up. I was confused and worried and scared. He told me if i wasnt gunna throw up myself, he would do it for me. So i threw up as fast as i could. He saw the little bits of hotdog particles. He sent me to the front step and told me to put the dog chain around my neck and to sit in the chair by the door. When i looked where the chain was connected to, it was weird...it was leading into the house. Well, supper rolled around and mom wasnt home yet...she hasnt been home in two months. I miss her. After supper, I heard Dad tell my siblings to go to the backyard and play.I heard his footsteps come back into the kitchen, then all of a sudden...YANK! I flew backwards outta my chair by my neck. My head hit the door and i tried to catch my breath. But it seemed as if the air would never find its way back in. He kept pulling and yanking. Even though the door was there to stop me from goin anywhere, he still pulled and i still hurt. After about five minutes he told me to get my ass in there and i did as i was told. He told me i have a chance to redeem myself. If i can finish the kitchen chores in 20 minutes, i will get the leftovers. OH! I was so happy! I ran to give him a hug but as i did he took the chain and whipped it across my face. Then he left while saying 19 minutes. I hurried as fast as i could and a little while later Dad came back in. I was so happy to have company. He told me five minutes left. He must have thought i was working too fast cuz he clubbed my leg and i fell to the ground. He again left, this time saying 4 minutes. I got back on my feet with my longing to finish the dishes so i cld put something in my stomach. Dad comes back in when time is up and i'm not finished. He tells me to go to bed. I start to head upstairs but then he tells me to sleep on the couch. I do as he says. I woke up with a thump. I fell off the couch. I looked at the time and realized nobody has woken me up for school. I was two hours late. I ran out the door and got to school in a hurry. Checked in with the secretary and then went to class. Well today was boring. Like any other day. But its much better than home. I love my daddy and i know he loves me, i think he just has a harder time showing it. Well i almost ate a piece of someones hamburger on the floor, but remembered that i wasnt supposed to cause Dad said that he would give me a ham sandwich tonight. I got home and Dad was being awkward. Really awkward. He told me to go get some cleaner clothes on. I did and then sat on the couch as instructed. I sat there for almost two hours until Mom came in the door. MOM(:! I was oh so very happy! I missed her so much! I ran to give her the biggest hug! I almost knocked her over. I wonder why she was gone for so long?! She told me to go et her bags. I did so. She strted packing a bunch of stuff and putting it in her car. She must be goin on another road trip. When i put her last suitcase in the car, she bent over and told me she loed me dearly. She told me she would miss me. She told me that she didnt know when she was coming back. I started crying. She told me to go in the house to father. I did. He saw the tears and told me to wipe that shit off my face. Then i went to the basement and sat. Waiting for my brother and sister to go outside so i could come upstairs. When i did, dad was sitting on the couch.

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