Dreamcatchers A Dreamcatcher is a device designed to take away your dreams. In this sense it is much like a spouse, or permanent employment. Dreamcatchers tend to be assembled from willow hoops within which are woven webs akin to those of a spider, often made from sinew or nettle fibre. They are designed in this fashion so that they might catch any harm that might be in the air, in just the same way real spiders’ webs don’t. The hoop of the catcher is further adorned with dangling feathers and beads. The whole structure is then intended to be hung over a child’s bed. The basic theory is that the bad dreams will be caught in the webbing prior to getting to the sleeping infant, whereas good dreams, which everyone knows consist of smaller particles than bad dreams, slip through and successfully descend via the feathers into the youthful brain. So far, so simple. Another theory about what happens is that the child lives in such horror of the Blair Witch mobile hanging over them, that they welcome unconsciousness as a blessed release, and never complain about bad dreams again. When dreamcatchers were first appropriated from native American culture into naïve American culture in the 70s, it was discovered that they were exactly as effective for adults as they were for children. Much as a spider’s web might gradually fill up with the dried husks and twitching half-dead remains of flying insects, your dreamcatcher will, with extended use, become entirely covered in angry, trapped nightmares. This is all perfectly normal. Just try not to look at it. Dreamcatchers are deliberately and lovingly assembled from natural materials that will dry out and collapse in time. Try not to use words like “shoddy” when returning them to the store, after they have fallen onto your terrified face in the middle of the night.