It's disheartening to know that what I want the most,...I just can't have. Perhaps even more sorrowing is that not a single person in the known universe can possibly assist me in getting what I want. I've been bombarded by endless "pep-talks" given by people who try to at least pretend to give a shit or two, but I only become more discouraged due to the fact of what I realize after every pep session; and that is that of all things said for me to do to help me in my dilemma, I can do none of them. You see, I've realized that I am the sole individual who has the capability of "fixing" my situation. However, I've also come to realize that I just can't. No matter the immensity if my want or of anyone else's want, I can't. It is this inability that causes me the most grief; knowing it is completely my fault and being unable to do shit about it. I just...hate it...to no end...but it's an empty hate, because in the end...I can't do anything.