Cheater's Game Guilt traced its' footsteps all the way back to my bed, Shoving its' definition down my throat til i could no longer taste anything but it. Everyday I had slept in the grave I dug myself. It's not like I was held under oblivion, I could've easily stopped what had been done. Convenient. Is the word my therapist drilled into my head, Is the word that slips under my breath every time someone asks me why I did it. Truthfully I'm not quite so sure myself, My reasoning can't be documented but the proof is there. My lack of self control got the best of me, And impulsivity was the light at the end of the path, Or so it seemed. He handed me a rose with thorns on it, And when you got pricked with it you blamed me, Even though fault was already bleeding out of my skin. Bad luck was tattooed onto my forehead, And infidelity was a blanket I tucked myself in, waiting to be unfolded by you. It finally revealed itself, I am far more worse than any natural disaster. Put me in a coffin where I can think about what I did. Like licking metal, I shredded you to pieces. You were everything to me, Yet made my unapologetic ways seem pointless. I loved you, But the fact of the matter is, what I did is not considered love. The harsh imprint of his tongue left a scar on me, That you kissed. Call it what you want - misfortune, tragedy, But nothing can justify my actions. I don't owe anybody an explanation but myself, Sadly that explanation is hiding, tucked away, right next to my regret. Regret is the whisper that creeps up on me every night, Sneaks its way into my mind, interlocking with my inner demons. The thing is, I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself. The day that I take the knife out of my own back and learn to forgive myself, Is the day I can at last feel at peace, not in pieces.