When I wake up every day I just want to be happy but my body doesn't let that work I try so motherfucking hard but I still can't seem to move things might seems perfect but In my head nothing's working please someone explain to me what's happening because I don't understand. You'll see me pass on the streets see me smiling and laughing at my own jokes but that's only trying hide my dark soul I try to move on I try to keep going but something inside me is stopping. The docs say go on meds and calm down but how do I tell them that I'm scared to feel nothing and that I don't want to feel nothing I want to feel something I want to feel my broken heart and my pain I've been stuck with it my whole #life and now it's apart of me I can't seem to get rid of it and I don't know if I could face not feeling my pain anymore so I continue on with #life and with my broken heart I've been trying to hide it and trying to fight it but I'm losing the battle and I'm going insane. Laying down every night but no sleep coming my way my brain won't shut the fuck up it's been doing this all day do you know what it's like to have to fight with yourself trying to seem happy without liking yourself it could all be over by just blasting yourself but I ain't the one to give up in this fight I need help. I try to talk to my mum but every time I open my mouth the words don't seem to come out so I get a paper and pen I write down in notes it's really all I need do to get these words out of my mouth and I ain't looking for someone to feel sorry for me nah I'm just trying to explain all the pain I've got inside and if you think I'm distance your probably right people ask me are you okay and I'll be like nah I'm alright it's an every day battle like I'm in war with myself if you feel what I'm saying keep your head up and if you need someone to talk to hit my line up please don't ever give up until your times up things will get better it's just gonna take some time