Ptsd And Hope I've had a little secret I've held for many years, That secret that wasn't mine at all, Was kept in pure fear, Suppressing down emotions I wasn't allowed to show, Was told if I told anyone they'd turn their backs and go. For years I faced his torture played his little game, Keeping quiet with a tool of fear, embarrassment and shame, I was just a little baby of five or six years old, Parents too busy squabbling to see events unfold. My body did what it did best and protected Me till now, Apparently I'm ready to understand I'm still learning stuff some how. Discovering what happened it's like I'm really there, Hating myself all over again relearning #lifes self care. Some days I face are really good I cope with stuff so well Other days I'm five again and rediscovering hell What he did to me was wrong I know with abuse that goes unsaid today a victim and that's not nice but one day a survivor instead.