Ari
Translate   8 years ago

Symphony My mom passed away on 10/31/2016. She was only 48 years old. I miss her like crazy. You wanna know something weird? The day after mom passed away, I went to moms house with Dez and Louie and I tried to keep it together ya know. Cuz it was strange being there without her. So quiet. Strange being around all her things the way they were left, like she was coming right back. The blankets were pulled aside on her bed like she was just getting up to use the bathroom or get some tea, and I could've swore I heard her walking down the hall. Her magazine was on the table overturned on the page she left off on. And I sat there staring at my hands. And I didn't even realize I was crying until I heard myself sobbing. It didn't sound like me at all. And I wish I could help that sad girl. Lie to her and tell her it's ok. And then my husband sat next to me and didn't even feel his hand in mine. Cuz I was in space and I've been up there this whole time. And as I cried I heard a dog cry. My moms neighbors dog. Crying so loud. And then the other neighbors dog crying, with me. And then I heard so many dogs howling and crying. It took up all the silence. And I felt my tears stinging my face again and my heart felt like stone in my chest. And soon, I stopped crying and listened to those heavy howls. Those ghostly tones still haunt me. I think about it every day. My husband and my sister stopped and listened too. It was a symphony of sorrow. I had never heard something so beautiful and broken. And in the end we left the house, silent as we had come.

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