Survivor Of Suicide I am a survivor of suicide. The guilt tears me up inside How can #life continue? I want to scream and/or hide. The searing pain at my heart is too much The lump in my throats chokes me My eyes are red raw from crying so much Yet I hear a voice in my head Is it here to help or torment? How do I know what you felt? You would smile and hug me and say you were ok You would tell me you loved me So why am I sitting here staring at your grave? It can not be true there must be some mistake Again I hear your voice in my head I'm angry that you chose to do this to me But I hear your reply I know it to be true You didn't choose your illness it chose you You didn't bleed, decline or waist away with your sickness You didn't limp or faint You got up each day hiding the pain A pain in your head that got worse each day The voice in my head reminds me It was a war in your mind With lots of battle scars But because they were unseen No one would believe They were real wounds Open gashes that couldn't be healed from simply saying be strong So you covered them up not knowing the harm You then lost too much, the pain was too much I understand that now I couldn't have saved you The mind's knife had torn away all reason Once again the voice tells me Your soul is beautiful It is pure and bright But the mind can hide, trick and lie The mind is powerful It can control the body But once you died your soul was free Free from that horrid pain Your soul can now see the beauty around once more I hear your voice of hope Hope, to help me find comfort each day Hope, to see you once again one day Hope, to find a reason to live with my pain Hope, that people understand it was a necessity to be released from your pain. Hope, that there will, one day, be a cure for mental illness.