Numb You sit and stare at the stars as you take a drag from the third cigarette you've lit since you sat outside half an hour ago. They don't fill you with the same sense of wonder and romance since you last saw them. His arms were around you then, his deep voice in your hair. But serpents have silver tongues that seduce and their bite leaves you poisoned. You resent feelings that come with memories and you ache to rid your body of them so the venom doesn't sting. Desperately, oh so desperately, you want to ask him why. Why did you not tell me, why did you lie, why did you leave? And still beneath these, coiled deep, was the need to know. Are you cheating on me? You drink until you pass out, flirt with strangers, walk alone in the middle of the night. You search for the vices you swore to never touch. Anything to take away your right mind. A different reason to cry. In bed, you find any excuse to never look them in the face because while you lie there, tears course down your cheeks. You want it to be him. You want him to hold you, touch you, stroke your cheek. You feel empty as they moan into your neck. Even more so when they're asleep, their arms wrapped possessively around your body. You stare at the wall, wishing the numb, empty feeling would come back because if you feel, you remember and you can't stand crying anymore today. You're exhausted. You feel drained. An empty shell. You sit and stare at the stars as you think about the carefree girl you used to be. With #life and love in her heart. But now, you're only numb.