First It's been an awful 6-7 days or so. This previous Thursday I went to my great-grandmother's funeral. Not only did it make me question all aspects of #life as we know it but it made me question God. And I figured out that I dont believe he exists. I wont stop others but I dont believe myself. Friday was the funeral. There were at least 50 people there from my mom's side of the family and I only knew 10 tops... I feel blind or stupid or idk. But there were a bunch of tensions and it was awful. Saturday we came back and got home around 5 o'clock ish. My boyfriend and I got into this big fight and I called him heartless and he broke up with me. I asked him to sleep on it but I knew it would end like that. He officially broke up with me Sunday night. Monday I got to see him and I have a class with him and I cried during my last block. And I cried myself to sleep. He was my best friend but then Tuesday happened. I started talking to him again and we were on rocky waters but we were making it. As friends. Wednesday went ok but I missed him. Then Thursday came along and he called me an undeserving slut. A b*tch. He didnt know why he ever dated me. I was a waste of time. A huge one. Him and his ex never had arguments. His ex at least made him happy 90% of the time. His #life is less stressful without me. And now im being the girl that cries over him. I keep wondering what I did wrong bc I have this issue of low self-esteem. And so Im analyzing everything and finding nothing. Only that I wasnt perfect. Which makes it 20x harder tbh... Goodness I hate crying