Please Do Not Attempt To Open. You Will Not Like What You Find Inside. I remember when I used to open up to people I remember I told my bestfriends everything About the hurt The pain The suicidal thoughts We would sit up for hours after everyone else had fallen asleep and cry for each other And for ourselves I remember when I used to open up to people I remember when I thought my boyfriend was the love of my #life I told him how I loved him How I felt unlovable How it fucking killed me to love him I would lay on his chest and he would hold me and I would feel whole and warm And dreadfully empty I remember when I used to open up to people I remember I asked my mom why there was pain in the world And she told me she wasn't sure But she held me close And loved me And loved me And loved me I knew that she loved me more than anyone loved anything And it killed her to see me cry I no longer have best friends One moved away The other was pushed away My boyfriend I pushed away Everyone I push away Because talking about it doesn't help My tears taste the same when I silently cry into my pillow Instead of on a shoulder Because people loving me makes everything worse Because the more I open up the more I hurt them Because I don't want to hurt them God I don't want to hurt them So now I distance myself I keep everything locked inside Never let them see me cry Never tell them I love them Never ask stupid questions And yeah it's unhealthy Yeah it hurts But at least I'm not a burden anymore