Dear Mom I dare not pause, for when I do I feel the absence of your presence. I hear the lack of your voice and laughter. I see the loss of your beauty, your face, your smile; your soul. I think of the missing memories, the words you have spoken fading in my mind, the sight of you when I was a child, and the memories I'll never get to have. The sight of your suffering and pain, and you baring it all with a smile. My heart aches for you, how can I move on? I try to distract myself with puzzles and mind games, pondering riddles and singing. Reading the books you read, wondering how the words effected your mind. I bury myself with business, trying not to sell my soul to sorrow. Waking up from bad dreams knowing I can't find comfort in your arms hurts beyond words and feelings. Wishing for the old days brings tears. Your words helped to guide me and brought comfort, but now they start to fade. Soldiering on can't be my #life forever, but I see no light in this dark tunnel. #life is not fair, I had you the least. I had so many words formed, but now they have ceased. Loss and grief bring pain and defeat, so I dare not pause, nor stop and think.