I hear the rumbling of a distant train. I am not allowed to go near this area of the forest. I am staying with my aunt. I am too small to stay home . My older sisters have school everyday and must live without Mom for awhile. Still so very young, I believe living without Mom will be permanent. She is dead I think. I remember when grandma died. The four of us little girls, upstairs in our little bedroom. We were kneeling on the floor around the heat register, looking down at grandma. She lay in her hospital bed dying of cancer. I watch. I hear the voices of my aunt my Mom and my Dad. Only later I would understand what was going on. My grandma called to my Dad. She asked if he had left for work knowing it was time. My aunt said he was still there. Gather, she said, I am leaving now. My Dad tried to give her a shot of morphine, she refused. She said goodbye, then Dwight, come get me and took her last breath. Grandpa Dwight had passed a month earlier.