It was barking outside my window that woke me up. My head was throbbing. I had no idea what time it was. I didn't want to roll over and look at the clock. My back hurt. Almost everything about my body hurt. Finally, I mustered up the strength and rode over. "Holy shit," I said out lout. It was 7 o'clock. Holy shit. I was supposed to be at work at six. I could smell the alcohol on myself. Oh gosh, how did I sleep this late last night? Finally, I rolled and pushed myself up. I don't even remember going to bed. I staggered drunk all away to the kitchen, which wasn't far only a few feet but still it was hard for me keep my balance. I put on some coffee. I rubber my head. I was so going to be late. I mustered up some more strength and made myself walk to the bathroom. Turned on the shower and then took a piss in the toilet. Oh gosh! I thought. I run my hands through my short hair. Made my way back into the kitchen and sat down at the small round table. I put my hands on my knees and leaned my head back. "I wish that coffee would hurry up. I don't have any medicine to take for my headache. " I mumbled. Finally, I fished for my phone in my pants that was laying beside me on the floor. I didn't even plug it up last night so it was almost dead. I dialed my bosses number and when he answered his voice was calm. "It's me," I stammered. "I'm calling to let you know that..." He stopped me. "You're going to be late," he jeered. "Well... yes... I am." "You call me an hour late to tell me that you're going to be late. " Realizing how stupid it sounded I stammered again, "yes, I just woke up and..." He stop me. "Don't. You know what Mr. Mazzs, take a personal day. In fact, take a personal week. Take your time. Sleep in and figure out what you are going to do with your #life and after this personal week that you take, this little mini vacation, as some people say, go find you another job because you can't work here anymore. I need someone is going to be on time and be spontaneous and be productive and,well not come to work drunk. That's all I require of you right now and you can't even do that, so take your personal week, sleep in all you want. Try not to drink. Think about what you want out of your future and then find yourself another job. You have potential, Mazzs, but unfortunately you don't know how to unleash it. You can come in Friday and fill out your paperwork and get your last paycheck. Goodbye Mr. Mazzs. I will see you Friday. "And with that he hung up the phone. "Shit." I said. "Shit!" I yelled. "I'm not gonna get anywhere! This is sucks!" I threw the phone across the room. My shower water was getting hot. I could see the steam coming out from underneath the door beside me. This was not what I want. I put my elbows on my knees and head in my hands and rub my fingers through my hair. I don't have a lot of hair. A buzz cut really. Again I sighed. I reach deep into my pockets of my pants that were beside me and pulled out a stogie and the lighter. Carefully, with shaky hand I lit it. I still felt a good buzz from last night. "What time did I come in last night?" I asked myself out loud. Why did I do this again? I lost another job. I was going to lose my house. I was already two months behind on rent and I've already been there for months. My truck insurance was due soon but luckily it was going be only around the hundred bucks minimum payment. I leaned back in the chair and looked at the sky from the window behind me. The coffee pot went off but I didn't move. Why have coffee now? Why chase the buzz off now? If only I could find my keys and get to the dollar store so I can get some kind of pain medicine. Maybe I should just sleep it off, maybe I should drink the coffee and take a shower and start my day like my ex-boss said. Maybe I should stop drinking. I laughed. Putting the half smoked cigaret in the ashtray without putting it out, I stood up and walked to the fridge and grabbed a six pack. I walked back to the table shuffling my feet on the floor as I went. I could feel the grit and dirt on the bottom of my bare feet. I got to vacuum, I thought. But why, I was about to lose it anyways. The landlord will be knocking soon maybe tomorrow maybe later today wanting the rent. I sat back down at the table and as I was about to get me one of the beers when I heard a small tap at my front door. "Well," I said to myself out loud as I hurriedly took the sixpack back to the fridge. There was no way I was going to let my mom know I was drinking this early in the morning. I steadily walked slowly to the front door and opened it. Right I was. It was my mom. "Let me in." She demanded sternly and she stepped right in and right past me. I close the door. "This is what's going to happen," she pronounced. I rub my temples. Her voice although it was calm and low seemed to be so deafening. Her voice is always in a whisper, she was one of those low voice women who are always calm and collected and have everything together. My sisters were like her but I was the black sheep I was like neither father nor mother. I have no idea where I got my attitude from. She continued, "You're going to drink that coffee. You are going to go take a shower and you're going to..." "Mom" I stammered. "No!" She said sternly and even louder it seemed. "I want you at the house in 30 minutes. I have two biscuits for you. I will save them but by the time you get to the house they will probably be cold so you should hurry. I know what happened this morning. I know why you're here at home. You were fired. You got drunk last night and when I drove by this morning on my way to look at the chicken houses your truck it wasn't even parked in the driveway! You drove it in almost into the ditch and parked it! What were you thinking?" Her voice was getting louder and louder. "Mother." I tried to stop her again. "No!" She demanded. "You are my son. I will not let you live your #life as a drunk useless man to the world. You have an obligation. I'm not going to let you sit around and drink." She paused for a breathe. "Now in 30 minutes be at my house. You owe me a lot of money. I have paid a lot of rent for you and I bailed you out of jail now you're going to pay me back. I'm not going to my grave with you owing me money." "Mom!" I tried again. "No! Stop! Stop interrupting me!" She yelled. I groaned. My head was throbbing. "Here," she handed me some aspirin, a whole bottle of aspirin in fact unopened. "Take some of this. Be at the house in 30 minutes. Breakfast will be waiting for you and then you're going to help me around the farm. My gosh I thought to myself. I haven't worked on the farm since I was young. I hate working in the chicken houses and with the cows. In fact, I had taken every job in town just so I would not have to work in the chicken houses. I went from flipping burgers to pouring concrete to mowing lawn. I even cleaned out septic tanks. Anything and everything to not work in the farm. "We've already worked the chicken houses for the morning, mother continued. "Now you're going to come and help with farm work. You're going to work off everything you owe me. Because without a job somewhere else you won't have the money and you never will to pay me back. So, you will pay me back in labor." She was a small woman and her red hair was firry. It anyways and always seem like her hair would turn into fire when she was mad and her green eyes would burn a hole into your soul. Yet, her voice is was always so soft no matter how mad she was unless you were drunk of course. The hangover made it sound as if she was yelling in your ears. "Okay Mother." I resigned. "My house. 30 minutes," she collected herself. "And if you're not at my house in 30 minutes you will wish you were." "Okay." I said. "Okay, now your landlord. I will pay the last of your two months today. You're going to move out all of your stuff and you're going to move into our front trailer. It's better than paying rent. You'll stay there for free but I expect a lot of things from you if you're going to stay there for free. So it's either get kicked out and have nowhere to go or let me help you pack and you come over to our front trailer and behave as I ask of you." "Okay Mother," I said. She turned on her heels and was out the door in a second. Sighing, I took the medicine to the kitchen and poured myself some coffee. Swallowing four pills I then drowned them with coffee. My head was throbbing and her yelling had not helped it and fact it had made it worse. Sighing, I drank the rest of my coffee and shuffled to the shower. It felt so good. The cold shower water ran down my back. Cold water splashing my face. I washed very slowly but I knew I needed to hurry because in 30 minutes my mom would be back up here. I don't really know what she would've done really, if I was a no show. Call the law maybe. Well who knows. I finished wash and in stretching, turned off the water with one hand and reached for my towel with the other hand. ~my #life sucks I suck what did I go wrong so yeah back in high school when I was out it out skip school all the time and drink with my buddies gosh I wish I had finished Haskell mom and I may go back and get my GED I was glad she did though because in some of the jobs I had to have some sort of knowledge quickly dried off and stepped out of shower I feel little better the medicine is kicking in my head still hurts but not as bad I stumbled to the bedroom and grabbed a pair pants that I thought was claim they were beside the dresser anyway and from the looking over them I didn't Seney dirt I did have an of mine to buy laundry detergent and mom hates it when I bring my clothes over I mean I'm 24 years old wash I'll be bringing my clothes over to her house it's not like I'm in college and then coming back home saying oh mom i'm home for a little while we do Mondry no just a drunk living down the street that Cano for laundry detergent I put the pants on without any underwear because I was pretty sure I didn't have any clean and I was already running late and I didn't want to look Franny I grabbed a shirt from those hanging up it barely fit it was one of the girls one of the last girlfriend had bought it for me it was a polo shirt but it was a little stained. I slipped on some dirty socks then once again stumbled into the kitchen I picked up my pants beside the table grandma cigarette my water and my wallet out of them and then headed to the door put on my boots and walked outside my little red Honda accord was sitting in the front yard it never worked Charlie and the big Chevy truck that I had bought several years ago in high school that had no bed and a huge crack across the windshield and the side door dented in was parked literally in the ditch it was a small ditch so I was quite sure I could get it out I'll park there before one loading and unloading cows and horses but not drunk I really did not want to have to pull my old job though drop up to moms but I know the Honda had no gas and well I did have insurance on it either so I walked slowly to the truck and climb Dan from the driver side found the keys in the floorboard and crown trip up to the passenger seat there was my deodorant and some cologne or out what to put on put my head on from off the glove compartment and mashing the gas little bit spinal Willy and headed out. It took me five minutes to get to moms and when I pulled up I could say no children my nephews and nieces running around in the backyard school is out I got out last week this is a great way to start summer I thought almost every summer the family was camping or going somewhere mom and dad are always taking the kids off but this time I have no money I had a job I had nowhere to go they would be probably at home babysitting me and my drunk 24-year-old self. I asked myself again LOL where did I go wrong I parked truck and got out in the keys to the floorboard of the left as I shut the door well I said let's get this over with I walk to the front door and I didn't even have to knock and the door was open the screen door was shut Ella Karen and I could see the little ones that could barely walk wobbling long in the living room opened The door and shut it behind me Lena was the youngest will six-month old she was not sisters she had the prettiest blue eyes and the blondish hair she's not her toothless grin at me when I when she's Amy and I picked her up and held her tight I don't know why but she was my favorite even though our goals are supposed to have favorites but she was she was the youngest carried her into the kitchen with me mom had my two biscuits sitting on the kitchen table along with a bunch of other cluttered stuff Sue one of them is my nieces was going to dishwasher dish washer and grandmother my grandmother was sitting at the small breakfast table near the window filling out paperwork she looked up and smiled at me all Jake up haven't seen you in almost a week yeah I said I haven't had a lot of time to come down when I was pulling out my ear and then she started coming on my cheekbone I laughed but I didn't pull away I set down and setting right now money I went to town on my biscuits I was starving my mother entered well she said I almost thought you were going to be here she put a load of dirty clothes on the corner at the door of the laundry room hurry up and eat she said without a lot of things today your father's already got the brush hog slighted you're going to go help him you'll have to move your truck and put it behind the shed everywhere I'll be leaving soon and text Scott call with you she said Scott and Kyle were the two youngest nephew's agent one and three.