Fifty Shades Of Grey I didn't write this but it make me laugh to much I had to share it. By Pam Ayres. The missus bought a paperback, Down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag; T'was fifty shades of grey. Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread... In her left she held a rope; And in her right a whip! She threw them down upon the floor, And then began to strip. Well fifty years or so ago; I might have had a peek; But Mabel hasn't weathered well; She's eighty four next week!! Watching Mabel bump and grind; Could not have been much grimmer. And things then went from bad to worse; She toppled off her zimmer! She struggled back upon her feet; A couple minutes later; She put her teeth back in and said I am a dominater!! Now if you knew our Mabel, You'd see just why I spluttered, Id spent two months in traction For the last complaint I'd uttered. She stood there nude and naked Bent forward just a bit I went to hold her, sensual like And stood on her left tit! Mabel scream, her teeth shot out; My god what had I done! She moaned and groaned then shouted out: "step on the other one"! Well readers, I can't tell no more; About what occurred that day. Suffice to say my jet black hair, Turned fifty shades of grey.