Bringing You Back To Me. I've had plenty of time to reflect today and the truth is I need you. I desperately need you. These blackouts have returned, these horrible lapses are here and once again they are too regular for my conscious mind to handle. The blade is sharper, the cuts are deeper and the number has duplicated. I really need to talk with you, you need to help me understand why my subconscious mind is running wild once again. I want to show you the marks, I need to show you the marks because I need you to know I'm struggling and I most certainly am not coping. I can't believe I'm thinking this but I'm even considering showing someone else first just so the concern for my welfare is greater and the need for you is clearer. I'm scared. I'm really scared. I'm scared of what my subconscious mind is making me do and what plans it has lying around for the future ahead. I want to get better, I hate feeling so down and depressed, feeling so helpless and hopeless to the world. I wish I could express my emotions clearly to people instead of putting on a brave front because that way I would of got help a long time ago but it's hard and only you understand. I'm going to bring you back to me, back in my #life, back in my thoughts, back in my sight.