Yikes, No spikes! By Richard Green Derek was a bald hedgehog Whose spikes had never quite grown Because of this difference about him Other hedgehogs would leave him alone The rest of the garden would mock him For having no spikes in his back Instead of being rough as a yard brush He was as smooth as the wings of a bat “Look at Baldy Derek” They’d say “He’s not like us” they’d call. “We’re covered in lovely prickles” “And he’s got none at all” Each day he’d sit in the garden Thinking of ways to try And make all the rest of the hedgehogs Think he’s a regular guy “I’ve got it!” Derek shouted out “I’ll prove those jokers wrong! I’ll get a back of spikes so big And feel like I belong” “If they won’t grow I’ll find a set” He said jumping with glee “I’ll make my spikes so tall and thick They’ll all wish they were me!” So Derek left the garden To head for pastures new His red spotted hanky behind him Hung on a cane of bamboo He walked past the road and fences, And struggled his way through the bush, He swam across the babbling brook, Through mud and muck and mush After travelling what seemed like forever It was time to rest his sore feet He collected some leaves at the base of a tree And snuggled on down for a sleep Just as his eyelids were closing He heard a crack and a creak Behind where he lay a small door opened up And a little voice started to squeak. “What you doing outside my door?” A little squirrel snapped “Hello sir my name’s Derek” “Could you help a decent chap?” “I know you don’t know who I am But I’ve travelled far from home.” “Now I’m cold and wet and hungry, Without a clue of where I’ve roamed.” “My name’s Cyril, this here’s my house, “Best come in from this storm I’ll make some tea and light the fire So we can get you warm.” Derek told his tale of woe Bout bullies back at home And how he’d hide away from them Amongst the garden gnomes Cyril sat quietly thinking Of how to help his new friend He could see Derek’s problem Was driving him right round the bend “I think I know where we can look” The squirrel did proclaim “We’ll get some sleep then head down To the farm on Fairy Lane” So first thing in the morning They headed out on their quest To find a coat of spikes for Derek Much better than the rest First they tried loose feathers From the floor of the chicken loft But they made Derek look silly And besides, were far too soft. Next they tried some twigs Pulled off a bush in the woods, But they just kept on breaking, They were obviously no good, So then they tried some nails That they found inside the shed But they we much too heavy Derek couldn’t lift his head “Mmmm, we need to have a think” Cyril told his hedgehog pal They sat and took a well earned rest By the bank of a canal “My friend the cow is over there, She’s always very wise, We call her Moo Moo Mary, She gives out good advice.” “Mmoooooo, hello there Cyril “What brings you down this way” “Hi Mary, this here’s Derek, His #life’s in some dismay.” “Oh Cow please help me” Derek cried “I need to find a coat Of spiky pins to silence Other hedgehogs that may gloat” “Mmmm, I see” the cow Moo’d out “You want to be the same, As every other hedgehog that Before you ever came” “If I were you I’d be myself, You’re different to the rest, To be unique is such a gift, You should feel like the best” Derek stopped and thought Of what the clever cow had said And things all hedgehogs couldn’t do That he could do instead He thought of other hedgehogs Who would call him silly names And suddenly felt quite sad for them As they were all the same He realised he was special A rare and wondrous thing, For where would you ever find A bee without a sting? A fox without a bushy tail? A duck without a beak? A kangaroo without his pouch? A mouse that couldn’t squeak? A crab without his snappy claws? A turtle with no shell? An elephant with tiny ears? A skunk that doesn’t smell? He jumped up high, and punched the sky And shouted out “By Crikey” For Derek finally realised “I’m not meant to be spiky!” “I’m proud to be the only Ever hedgehog that is smooth, I’ll show those other hedgehogs In the garden that I’m cool!” So Derek thanked his two new friends And set upon his way Making his way to the garden So he could have his say “He’s back” said Eddy with a grin “He’s still without a coat” “I don’t need spikes to impress you So go ahead and gloat” “I can do lots of things you can’t Without a back of spikes Like playing leapfrog, holding balloons, Or Riding on my bike” “In fact I’d rather be myself And do the best I can I’ll stay like this, thanks very much, I’m fine the way I am!” “I’m leaving now and won’t be back, This garden’s not for me I swam the babbling brook and saw There’s lots of world to see” “There’s animals out there just like us But they don’t care a quack How many little spiky thorns Are growing out my back” He threw his cane and hanky Cross his shoulder once again And headed back to Cyril’s house Against the swirling rain Arriving just before nightfall He knocked upon the door A little voice chirped from inside Much like once before “Hello my friend, it’s Derek, I’m sorry to be a pain, But I was hoping to stay the night To get out of the rain” “Of course my friend” The Squirrel said “Come in and warm your bones” “The fire is lit, a chair is free, I’ll make some tea and scones” So Derek told of his return To the garden that same day He thanked Cyril for all his help And the favour he’d repay. “Starting from now I’ll wear a smile” “To that I’ll make a pledge, For I am Derek Hedgehog, The only hog without a hedge!” END