Him My feelings for him are just such a mess. I hate him yet I love him. I want him out of my head but thinkin about him makes me happy. He is the reason that I sit there smiling like an idiot but is also the reason I cry myself to sleep at night. I long to be with him but at the same time I just wish I could get over him. When I think about him half the time I don't know if I want to smile and be happy or cry and be depressed. I miss him more than anything in the world and I have never felt about anyone else the way I feel about him. I mean I haven't even got to meet him in person and I am madly in love with him. Everything about him. From the way he would do things that he thought were best for me. How he was always do polite and wanted to meet my family. How when I was depressed I could talk to him and he could cheer me up. The feeling I got just from talkin to him. Feeling like I meant the world to me. When he stopped talking to me I didn't know what to do. I still don't know what to do. I try to flirt with other guys and think about possibly dating someone else and I just start thinking about him and I compare every other guy to him. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I want him back.