Change It Up And Speak Up Chapter One: Friends. You chose them but you can oh so easily, lose them all. Friends are such fickle people, one moment they have your back and are there for you, the next they are ignoring you and treating everything as normal as if you were never part of their #life, as if you weren't really there, as if you don't exist at all. But then there are those rare people who will stick with you no matter what goes down, but then again those are the people who are treated the worst. They are so rare to find people like that. If I had a friend like that, then maybe I wouldn't be what I am today. Maybe I would still be the same. But I didn't have a friend like that and I am now who I am. I am a selective mute. A selective mute is a person whom has the ability to speak but choses to stay silent, as if they were mute. They don't say a word. They chose to be a mute. They chose to be silent. They chose to shut out the world. You must be wondering what the hell is wrong with me. Why on earth would I chose this #life style? Because no one I know is worth talking to anymore. No one is worth my words. They don't deserve my awesomeness. Sorry, I'm a weird person. Any who, Why talk when no one is really listening to you? They look like they want to know they sit there pretending to listen yet they still don't hear you crying out for someone's, anyone's help. Anyway, you should probably know that I wasn't always like this. I used to talk to everyone. I used to be a nice kind hearted person, who saw the good in everyone around me. I used to sing like there was no tomorrow. I used to have great friends, who told me they would never leave. But the day someone killed my dad, they killed the girl I used to be along with him. My whole world came crashing down on top of me. My dad was the only one I knew I could talk to. Of course I had my other family and close friends but no one I thought I could really trust. But with my dad it was different. He was carefree, loving, and an easy going person. He would listen to me for hours on end about anything I wanted to talk about. He was my best friend but then one night he was driving home late from his work and ended up in a car accident because of a drunk driver the drunk man lived while my father died. That night my old self died with him. If I couldn't talk to him anymore I wouldn't talk at all. My mom and brothers tried to talk to me but I wouldn't utter a word. My friends saw that I wouldn't talk so they stopped talking to me too. I was left alone from then on. I used to hate the silence of no one talking to me but now I welcome it with open arms. Now I ignore any and everyone. They wouldn't ever understand what I've been through. It wasn't just my dad that lead me to this it was much much more but that's a story for later on.....oh hold up a second, I should probably introduce myself. Sorry about that, it's my first time having a journal. Anyway Im Nichole Flare , I am 17 years old, Im very smart like genius smart but I don't flaunt it around like others do. Any who I have thick glossy dark brown hair that never fails to tangle, I have green eyes that have flacks of honey colored in them. I don't think of myself as pretty even though I've been told I'm stunning I just do not see it. I love to sing but only when no one can hear me..... I stopped writing in my ebony journal there and slip it in my chocolate brown satchel bag so no one will ever see it. I steal a quick glance at my clock, to my dismay it was time to leave for my last day of high school. I was ecstatic to be leaving that hell hole but I still had to go this last day and put up with those idiots. I grab my over sized hoodie and put it on. I sling my bag over my shoulder then hurry out the front door with my keys before my mom or bothers can see me. I get into my old car and start it up. After the car is done with its coughing fit, I drive the 4 blocks to school. I pull into the almost empty parking lot and hurry out of my car, trying my best to avoid the few people who are here. Yes! I didn't get yelled at by or pushed by Lizzie! Lizzie is the 'It girl' of my school. She absolutely hates me. I make my way through the deserted halls to the library, lost in my own thoughts. BAM! I'm shoved onto the floor. I glance up and see Lizzie towering over me. Her stick figure body that she starves herself for. She throws her dirty blonde hair curled perfectly to hair back over shoulder as she laughs at me scrambling to pick up every thing that fell out of my bag when she pushed me down. As I stand up not daring to glance up at her face that is caked with make up. I stare down at her 6 inch heels. But I'm forced to look up at her when she snarls "Look up here slut." It oh so funny that she calls me a slut when she wearing a bra for a shirt and a belt for a skirt. I look up and lock my broken green orbs with her pricing unforgiving blue ones. She looks taken aback by my eyes. She looks scared but she quickly covers it. "Nice clothes. *cough* loser *cough*" she says smirking at me. I just stare blankly back at her no hurt or pain showing in my glaze only pity but not for me, oh no. Pity for her, the girl who can't keep her legs closed, the girl who everyone will soon forget as #life goes on, the girl who spent all her time only trying to impress people who will leave to better things, the girl who will have nothing as soon as she hits the real world. I pity her. She slaps me hard in the face. The impact not even making me flinch back. She gives me a death glare then stalks off. I walk off heading to my first class since the halls are full now. Unfortunately Lizzie is in my first class. This is gonna be a long day. I get into my first class. Despite Lizzie being in here it is my favorite class, music. As I walk to my seat I can't help but hear Lizzie talk to her 'Friends' about trying out for 'Britain Got Talent' with all her friends coming meaning all the popular crowd will be there. That means they will all see me try out too. Great. They will get to see the new me. Once I get there I'm gonna talk like I did before what happened. I'm gonna try to live out my dreams. (A/N: Okay so I'm American and don't know so much about the UK so if I get anything wrong feel free to correct me but no hate please. It's set in the UK for the story. Sorry to put this in the middle of the chapter! Continue on with the story!) ~After School~ I get home and run up stairs grabbing my guitar and already pack suit case. I put them into the car them make my way back inside to say goodbye to my family. I was leaving today to get to the audition place a few days early. I walk in and see my older brothers John and Jackson sitting on the couch with my mom watching some reality show. They looked up at me as I walked in and smiled at me. I cleared my throat and said to them "I need to tell you all something" they stared at me in shock as I continued "I'm leaving today, I'm auditioning for Britain's Got Talent. I just wanted you to know I love you and I'm gonna miss you." I finished smiling sadly at them before walking out the door because I couldn't bear to see any of them cry or say goodbye. As soon as I get to the hotel I go to the bathroom and strip out of my baggy school clothes. I pick up my skinny jeans from my suit case and quickly put them on along with a blood red crop top that has a black heart on it. I pull on my black combat boots and pull down my hair from its pony tail letting it fall in natural waves to my waist. I smile at my reflection then make my way to the check in counter. I smile at the woman behind the counter. She glances at me popping her bubble gum as she glares at me turning her attention back to the computer. Her work clothes are defiantly personalized her blouses first four buttons are undone showing off her breast and the top of a laced looking bra, her face caked with an insane amount of make up. I clear my throat and she looks at me again "What?" She snaps at me. I glare at her then put on a sickly sweet smile "I would like to check in please." I say politely. "Fine. Last name." She says still glaring at me with jealousy and hatred. "Flare" I say smiling at my last name. I love my last name, you could say it has kind of flare to it, No? Just me? Okay then. "Here's your room key. You're on in room 260. Have a awful trip bitch." She snarls at me. Well then, someone woke up on the wrong side of bed. I snatch my key from her and stalk off with my suitcase in hand. I wait for the people to get out of the once full elevator I get in and press my floor number as the doors just start to close a voice calls out "Hold the elevator!" I press the button just in time and a boy that looks about my age give or take a year. His hair is styled into a black quiff, His ray bands cover his eyes even though he's inside. He's wearing a tight form fitting t-shirt with a varsity jacket along with tight acid wash jeans and black classic converse. He's panting as if he ran all around the town. I smile politely at him and ask "What floor?" gesturing to the buttons in front of where I'm leaning against the elevator wall. He finally looks at me as he catches his breath "Top floor. Thank you for holding the doors." He says giving me a boyish grin. I press the button and smile at him as the doors open on my floor. "No problem." I grab my suitcase off the ground and start to walk off the elevator but he grabs my wrist. I turn my head back to look at him. I smile at him politely trying to not be rude by jerking my arm away. "Is there something I can help you with sir?" I say raising my one of my eyebrows in question looking pointedly at his hand gripping my wrist still. "Oh...Um I-I was just wondering what your name is, I didn't really get a chance to introduce myself in there," He says smirking gaining more confidence as his sentence prolongs "Im Zayn Malik, but I bet you already knew that." He says chuckling and removing his sunglasses staring at me with honey colored beautiful eyes. Who is this guy? "Um, So sorry to burst your bubble Sweetie, But I have no idea who you are. Sorry if I sound at all offensive to you, I don't want you to throw a fit because from what you said you're probably famous or something. But anyway, I need to go. Bye." I ramble on shaking his hand from my wrist leaving him there stunned as I walked away looking for my room. I finally find it and hurry to get in. Dumping my suit case by the door, not even bothering to change or take in the hotel room. Only stopping to kick off my combat boots as collapse onto the bed letting sleep fall over me as soon as my head hits the firm pillow. As sleep washes over me only one thought plays through my mind. What am I getting my self into?