Awake I remember pillow fighting with my grandpa a while back He'd hit me, I'd hit him, whack! Then we would sit down and peacefully chat So much energy So many smiles Such a beautiful soul, sweeter than any mural made out of tiles I look back and the misty eyes begin to run He told me I was his number one grandson I lost him two nights later to himself choosing a handgun It was my first time realizing that you could have something at moment one, all is fun, and really loose it the next second from a mixture of Malibu rum I didn't know how to comprehend It was too complex This isn't about my grandfather, however, but instead the left letter How it exemplified a path one chose to follow And that every one of us has a daily-basis choice If whether or not, we would like our lives voiced or remain in wallow I find myself sometimes fantasizing about some nice shoes, or a necklace When really what I need is a job off Craigslist Even though it may sound boring The truth in that is greater than going to your nearest Nordstrom and shop whoring Maxing out credit cards Judging people who were dealt different cards Although grandpa may have committed suicide And left a trail of unanswered questions in the oceans tide It was a bigger picture than some extreme graphic on google His autopsy showed to stay present, understand truth, and what's really real and needed Affection, love, respect, joy, freedom, carelessness, relaxation, all these you must feel So that what is next to you or in front, you're content with and real That very moment you're spending with family, friends, significant others, or even with just yourself in a field Is another special time that is unique and you don't have to kneel I myself, have been looking into this paper pad with my pen in my holster for over half my #life Knowing my wounds can be somewhat cured stabbing my blank sheet with my ballpoint knife Realizing that fantasies and candy painted Cadillacs are all a trap If I believed in that, then Uncle Sam is my pimp and he miswell put me on the track That's why, of course when I think about my grandpa I get sad, but the real message, although found in a jagged bottle, is to be glad No matter what the circumstances, be glad Take every day and jump into it like you do with your sneakers With arms wide open and your ears as large as speakers Cherish every moment with that crazy uncle,or forced dinner with mom Because you never really know what you've got until its gone