Translate   11 years ago

I Am Becoming I am becoming a rock. Not one of those beautiful smooth precious stones that startle all those who set sight on them, but a rather brittle stone like the ones you see on a sea shore. A stone or a rock which ever suits the meaning best for it doesn't matter in the end it feels the same. I was once one of those beautiful precious stones I was a diamond; the best of all. Shining in the sun I used to reflect colours and draw smiles on all the faces around me. Crowds used to stare in awe "Remarkable" they said as they witnessed how hopeful and positive I was. A positive junkie I no longer am, as I tumbled down the dark valley that is #life I found myself losing the ability to reflect all the joy and wonder I used to believe #life held, for I couldn't see it anymore. All the blood had been sucked out of my veins replaced by space, taking away the shreds of who I used to be leaving a cold vulnerability that you could not witness unless you looked up close. The more I lost light the more people thought I was becoming stronger, they could not fathom that I was my strongest when I was a diamond. I try as hard as I may to conceal the emptiness that once was filled by the flowing river of hope that gave me warmth and strength against all the cynical in #life. Cynical, ha I used to pity all the pessimists, "How awful must their #life be?" I used to question, how they live a #life expecting all their nightmares to take place was beyond me. And now as I stare into the horizon I wonder what has become of me? I look back at those times in a moment of contemplation and I realize that like a rock now I am indifferent. I just sit witnessing the #life around me I am no longer moved, neither physically nor emotionally. At least I have comfort in knowing I'm not mature, strong, or wise as people might say but rather dark, hard, and brittle. My knowledge of such fact can be the force that opens a window to the light that once shone. I could be whole again.

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