Haunted At first it was just a flicker. Bad feeling. Something was not right. She tried to ignore it, and focus on the text she was typing. It didn't work. It gradually got stronger. She stood up from the desk, and walked to the other side of the room to open the window. There it was, nice fresh air, lovely. She rubbed her temples and squeezed her eyes shut. It was her brain playing tricks on her, and she could definitely regain the control over it, she just needed to try hard enough. Suddenly fear rippled through her body like a wave, spreading to all of her limbs to the point of aching. She gasped, frantically trying to clear her mind, but it was too late. Her chest exploded with pain bringing tears to her eyes. It's only in your head, Marie, you can fight it. The reassuring self-talk didn't help. She lost again, now she would just have to endure it till it was over. Fear brewed like a storm inside her and she couldn't see or think anymore. Her body doubled over in pain. She tried to grasp something to steady herself. She failed and felt herself fall to the floor. Breathing in spasms, her heart was beating like it was about to burst out from her chest. Completely and utterly terrified, she felt like she was going to lose her mind. She lost her breath and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get any air into her lungs. Her mouth felt like it was filled with filthy water. Choking in a silent scream, once again she was sure she was going to die. And then, when she was on the brink of losing consciousness, it ended. The fear and the pain disappeared, and the glorious oxygen entered her mouth. She inhaled as much air as possible savouring it, even though her throat and chest were on fire. After couple of minutes her heart rate slowed down, she lifted herself up off the floor, sat on her computer chair and started to cry. Panic attack. That was how the doctors called it. She personally thought the name of such an ordeal should be a bit more than just two simple words. It started the day after her husband died. Her doctor said that it was understandable; it was an extreme strain on her mind to lose somebody she loved so much. He said that it would pass as soon as she would come to peace with what had happened. It began two and a half years ago and it happened every single day since then: including Christmas, her birthday, her daughter's birthday,etc. If it weren't for her daughter she would probably have given up a long time ago. She knew she couldn't do that; Lily had already lost her father. She tried every doctor in the city and every drug they put her on, but they'd done nothing more than make her drowsy and paranoid. Her latest doctor agreed drugs were not working for her; in her eyes the therapy was not working either. He told her over and over again that she needs to be patient and give it time, but for how much longer could she live like that without literally losing her mind? Going to a mental institution would mean abandoning her daughter, and that was one thing that she would never ever do. So she kept on trying to live a normal #life for Lily, even though she was dying inside a little bit more every day. The door creaked open and Lily walked in to the office. "Mum, I heard you crying, what's wrong? Did you get scared again?" Marie could feel little hands on her chin trying to lift her head up. "Yes babe, I just got a little scared that's all, nothing to worry about," she answered and looked up at her little daughter with her eyes still full of tears. Lily looked so upset, her insides twisted with guilt. It should be the other way round, she should be comforting her daughter, instead of giving her more reasons to worry. She hugged her and promised herself that the things were going to change; Lily would never feel like that because of her mother again. That night, lying awake in her bed, Marie came to the conclusion that the only thing she could do about her panic attacks was just to ignore them. She could not fight them or get rid of them, but she could just endure them knowing that they would always come to an end and she wouldn't die or go crazy(well at least she hadn't for the past two years which was some kind of a good sign, right?) Happy with her resolution she tried to drift off to sleep, when just for a second she felt the familiar flicker of fear. Surprised, she sat up. It had never happened twice in a day before, but it was definitely coming, she could feel the fear slowly guiding its way through her body. "Well it's now or never, let's see if my plan works," she said trying to encourage herself. She focused on getting a few more deep breaths before the fear would push the oxygen completely out of her body when she noticed something strange. "What the he.." She didn't get a chance to finish. A foggy silhouette of a man rose from the corner of her bedroom and rested on her chest, crushing her lungs. She tried to scream but he covered her face with his ice-cold hands and her mouth started to fill up with water. Her mind went blank with panic, her body thrashing trying to get that thing off her. After couple of minutes his translucent hands lifted and his body started to dissolve. Thanks GOD, she thought but it was not the end, every time she tried to take a breath she would only get more foul tasting water into her nose and mouth. Right before she lost the consciousness she realized something. That foggy thing looked familiar, especially the way it was looking at her. She knew those eyes... they were her husband's. First thought when she woke up the next morning was "it was only a dream, it must have been", but then she tried to move and a sudden pain in her chest filled her with dread. She looked down, there were bruises on her chest and arms, and dark stains on her top and all over her pillow. She jumped out of bed shaking and started to cry, it was not a dream, something was trying to kill her, she was not insane, it was really happening. She grabbed the phone and quickly dialed 999 just to put it down a second later. What she could possibly say? That her dead-husband-looking ghost-thing was trying to drown her in her own bed? With her history of panic attacks they would section her right away. Lily would be devastated... She could not do that to her. Whatever it was, she would have to deal with it alone. Who knows, maybe it would never come back. It did. From then on it came back every night like an old friend. Fourteen nights in a row. Marie learned to just lie still and hold her breath for as long as she could until it was gone. She was quite impressed with herself, she could hold her breath up to three minutes now without passing out. The 'thing' wasn't violent when she wasn't fighting it. She was proud of herself that she was dealing with it so well, and at the same time, she was terrified that the fact she was doing so well was the sign she was finally going crazy. Her daytime episodes didn't really bother her that much anymore, in the end they were nothing compared to her dead-husband-foggy-look-alike trying to choke her. Because she was sure it wasn't her actual husband's ghost haunting her. He loved her too much, he would never do that. That morning she was getting ready with Lily to go and visit her mother in law. She hated the old witch, but Lily loved her grandma, so they would go visit once every few weeks. The biggest mistake Marie had ever made was to tell her mother in law about her problem. She didn't have any family of her own and she was just looking for comfort. What she got instead was accusation of being an unfit mother. Every time they went to see Martha she would always take Marie for a little talk upstairs, while Lily was playing with the cat, and tried to explain to her that she was slowly destroying her daughter by letting her be around her "madness". Marie laughed to herself thinking what the old hag would say if she told her about her late-night visitor. "Mummy, let's go!" Lily was jumping up and down "grandma is waiting!" So off they went. It was a lovely drive, Martha lived close to the lake. Marie rolled down the window and inhaled the fresh air, enjoying the view from the bridge they were just crossing. Lily was fast asleep at the back letting out cute little snores. Marie smiled to herself happy that she was still able to enjoy little things in #life. Suddenly another car hit hers causing it to fly through the bridge barrier straight into the lake. It all happened so fast it took her good couple of seconds to comprehend what was going on. The car was filling up with water. She screamed for Lily but there was no answer, she looked back and saw her little daughters head all covered in blood. Lily was unconscious, but it looked like she was breathing. Marie was frantically trying to unfasten her seat belt, but it was stuck. They were sinking fast, water bursting in like a waterfall through the open window. Panic exploded in her chest making her paralyzed. They were going to die, both of them. Gasping for breath blinded with terror she felt the reality slipping from her. No! It cannot end like that. Lily will not die! Panic was Marie's best friend; she lived through it every single day. She could clear her mind, it was only fear, she could get them out of this goddamn car! Last breath before the car completely filled with water. Come on you've been through worse than that. Cheering herself on, Marie took another good look at the seat belt. Slowly, she tried to unfasten it again, and this time it worked. She lunged for her daughter, took her seat belt off, and guided her #lifeless body to the front, and through the window. The journey to the surface felt like forever, but finally she could feel the air entering her lungs. She dragged Lily to the shore, which thankfully wasn't far away, and quickly performed CPR. After less than a minute, which felt like centuries, Lily opened her eyes and started choking out the water. With a quiet sob, but relieved to no end, Marie collapsed on the sand. The Police never found the person who hit Marie's car. After the accident Marie never had a panic attack or a night visitor again.