Translate   12 years ago

My Favorite Color Is Pink Pink has always been my favorite color. I never realized it would also become my destiny. Like most little girls I loved the color pink and all the frills that went with it. Barbie dolls, jewelry, makeup anything girlie. I remember my cousin and i use to put on our frilly little girl slips and perform for our parents and grandparents. I guess I couldn't help being a little prissy being the only girl and with just one big brother. All my cousins were girls. It was just a pink and perfect a world until the day I realized my mamma was "sick". Only about 10 years old at the time I recall many nights spent at my Aunts and how she would be on the phone with whispers bearly audible but still heard. So confused as to what was wrong with my Mamma. I knew that she only had one breast but i never ask why. I Often wonder why i never asked her about it. I guess i was just too young or have i just suppress some hurtful emotion? She was in and out of the hospital a lot. Then the day came. A minister and my Daddy sat me down and he explained that my mom was going to heaven. To this day I can not remember what I said or the rest of the conversation. I just knew my first love was leaving me, my precious mamma. The following days are a blur. Memories of hearing her cry out in pain, my Daddy crying and "the room". Prevented from entering the bedroom she was suffering in still plays in those memories that wont leave the darkest places in out minds. i wS allowed in a few times and she would try to smile but she was so thin and fraile and it broke my heart. She had always been a woman that loved Pink too. Always beautiful and proper. Hat and gloves at church on Sunday kind of lady. How I wish I would have been old enough to comfort her and share those days with her. I so often wonder what her thoughts were then. My heart still to this day lones to have know her as a woman, what had she really planned to do with her #life, if this Pink killer had not shown up ??? Years passed, my heart ached but #life carrier on. High school was okay but not having a momma during those years was extremely hard. My daddy did the best he could but it was very apparent that he was totally heartbroken. He had always been the #life of the party. He was never the same again. Four years passed and we survived. I continued to see my daddy suffering. He misery was so painful to witness. I just wanted to see him happy again but that would not happen without tragedy. At 16 years old I came home from school to find neighbor waiting there for me up. She said my daddy had been in a car accident and we needed to go to the hospital. She told me my brother and sister in law were there waiting. Walking into the hospital i sti remember the sterile smell and the soft sounds of crying. I saw my brother back in a little room. Tears were flowing down his face. His beautiful blue eyes, the image of our daddys looked up at me with such pain...I instantly knew the other love of my #life was gone. Just like with mamma I don't remember a lot after that. The one feeling I do remember was really strange was ... relief. His misery was over and he was with my momma once again. I imagine the smile came back on his face. Well living with your brother who is only 26 himself was quite a challenge. And not for me but for him. Gary did the best he could for a man who with no children suddenly have the responsibility for a 16 year old girl. He actually did too good, as dating came into the picture all the boys were afraid of my big brother. He ran several off thanks to unanswered prayer! However one young man in particular took the challenge. He continued to come back although he did let me out at the end of the driveway a few times. My first real date with Eddie was the senior prom and a year and a half we were married. As with most married couples we struggled to make ends meet but he always provided. A year and a half later we experienced the birth if our first baby girl Tara Nicole as children ourselves. Me having no parents we made the trip to the hospital alone. Scared to death we experienced the miracle of #life and feel in live wit our beautiful little red head. We both had strong feelings about me being an at home mom. Maybe because of the limited time I had with my mom I could not imagine leaving her. Times were tough but I found out what a tough man I had. There were many days I saw him go into work sick because he refused not to provide for his family. Times were always tough financially but our little family was happy. About this same time in our #life The Lord really convicted Eddie that we should be in church. He was a southern baptist preachers son and was raised in church. I was raised in United Church of Christ and there was a big difference in the type of service we were use to.

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