Kitten Sneezes The kitten licked his cheek; it's little tongue a tiny piece of moist sand paper. He giggled and rolled over. The kitten climbed onto his shoulder. "You're one strong kitty cat." He said. The kitten walked up the back of his neck and licked his hair. "Kitty cat! That can't taste good!" He cried. The kitten didn't seem to mind, he kept licking. The kitten was orange with dark red stripes and big green eyes. He looked like a mix between a baby owl and and tiger. "Kitty cat! That hurts!" he laughed. The kitten was really chowing down on his hair. "Try as you might kitty, my hair is staying on my head." He hadn't been this happy in a long, long while and couldn't remember that last time he felt so warm and fuzzy. It was hard being forty-three and single. The kitten let out a little meow, "Meow". And then sneezed. "Sneeze." "A kitten sneeze!" He cried, "Is there anything cuter than a kitten sneeze?" Maybe a dog with its head cut off nailed to the wall. That pesky voice from the couch! he didn't even look over. The kitten nibbled his ear. "Owe kitty cat! You really are hungry aren't you!" He giggled again. "Heeheetee" He had forgotten how good a good giggle could feel. He rolled back on to his back, the kitten slid off and jumped up onto his chest and curled up into a ball. "Ohhhh, kitty cat, now you're sleepy? I was about to feed you but okay." He stroked the kittens ears lightly. Now's your chance, pull it's head off. That darn couch. Still on his back he looked over his shoulder at the couch, gave it the stank eye, and looked back at kitten. "So sweepy, aren't you wittle kitty? Maybe I'll name you Drowsy like the dwarf." The kitten sneezed. "Or Sneezy!" He laughed. "Oh my! As long as it's not Grumpy!" Why don't you name it pussy licker slit its throat and be done with it. That couch! He was really being a sad sally. And today of all days! The kitten opened it's eyes slowly like cats do and stared into his. "What is it wittle kitty? Are you hungie again?" He went to pet it when a high hissing moan rattled from it's mouth. He pulled his hand back, startled. "What is it kitty?" The cry grew higher and louder, the hairs on it's back rose, it's pointy claws dug into his chest. Like a sobbing baby ghost from it's mouth. "WEEAAAAAOOO" it cried, "WEEEEAAAAOOO". It was a terribly loud noise from such a small thing. That cat hissed and batted his face, claws extened. Shut it up. It cried louder, now hunched on all fours. He felt a dark shadow rising behind him. It's eyes widened with fear and it tail bushed out. "WEEEAAAAOO" Shut it the hell up! "WEEEEAAAOO" It hissed and clawed his face again. "Owe kitty, that hurt!" He cried. "WEEEAAAOOO" Shut the god damn thing up! He raised his hand. There was a knock on his door. "Zack? Is everything okay?" His dad poked his head in. He looked a him lying on the floor, the kitten on his chest; it sat back down, its tail defluffed. "Yeah, everything is fine." He stroked the kittens back. "I asked you to give me some privacy, did I not?" His dad looked at the kitten and then back at him. "Okay, dinner will be ready soon. Come down in ten." "Fine." he said coldly. His dad started to close the door. "Wait, Dad!" He poked his head back in. "Are we having mac and cheese with hot dogs again?" He asked hopefully. "No, we're having chicken quesadillas." "I hate chicken quesadillas!" he cried. "That's to bad!" he said and closed the door. Cut his cock off and throw him down the stairs. That darn couch again! The kitten sneezed.