Translate   11 years ago

Rusty Would you let me love you tonight? Please, I do not ask for your body, nor your soul. You don't even have to love me back... you see, my love is out of practice and I want to feel it again. It is a rusty kind of love that I offer, it will not take much of your time. It has been so long since I loved that I don't even know if I could actually love for more then a breath. No, don't move, please. I don't mind having sex, but could we do that later? I really want to try this, I really want to see if I can actually love. I have memories of love, you see. I have memories of great joy, memories of great pain... but these are old memories, memories that have faded with time. They are like analog telephones, like cassette players or VCRs - they are outdated memories, analog memories, lost in this digital age. This is a rusty kind of love that I offer, with history, age and more then just a bump or two collected along the way. The cracks of time and age run deep and I really hope I could love again. Do you terribly mind if we tried, to love, just for a moment? ... You know what I really don't understand - I even miss the pain. I remember loving so deeply and hurting so badly it felt like I could not breathe, like my insides were suddenly torn from my body and my stomach was punched so bad I could die... but I miss the pain as much as I miss the joys... ...being so open, so vulnerable, so alive. Now the only times my stomach hurts have to do with indigestion, and I wonder... I wonder if growing older made me stronger or if getting stronger made me older...? Where have all the colors gone? I remember everything was so intense... I really don't know, I really want to find out. Had I lived intensely because I was young, or was I young because I lived intensely? ... Please, would you let me love you tonight? I don't think I can do this alone. p.s. Since we cannot seem to find the key to my heart, you wouldn't - by any chance - have a crowbar?

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