Translate   11 years ago

Before, During and After of the Tank Man I see the #life that I live and I am disgusted. What my nation has become of is ridiculous and my neighbors are starting to become overwhelmed. I go over to drink and have a good time at my old friend’s house. We talk and drink to try to forget about today’s screwed up society but the topic comes up anyhow. They said that there was going to be a serious riot happening at the Tiananmen Square in two nights but I lost interest and my mind started to be buzzed by the liquor. As I drone in my own world, I soon realize they are calling me. I snap out of my world and come back to reality when they are asking me if I was going to be part of the riot. I automatically say “No! That’s ridiculous, if this riot happens the government are going to kill everybody involved; perhaps relatives of the rebels too. Really you guys shouldn’t get involved.” I take my stand and leave with the silence that I left them in to ponder on what I just told them. Knowing them they will ignore what I just said and join the riot anyways. I walked home and saw that many of the houses had their lights off or only one or two on. Even if the riot goes on, people will die but #life will go on grow up and beyond. I will live a happy and long #life. I am home, ready to join the bed with my wife that is already fast asleep. I dress into my night wear and join her as I try not to stir her too much. I move the hair away from her face and kiss her lightly on the cheek while I hold my breath so that the smell of alcohol doesn’t disturb her slumber. As I try to fall asleep while staring at the ceiling, I realized things are about to change drastically. I hope that the riot will not change our household and only to those that are part of riot. My #life is perfect even though we can only have one child which is inside of my wife at the moment. I soon fall asleep and I had a very fascinating dream. A precognitive dream which is the first I’ve had. I believe it is a precognitive dream but I can’t take the risk of thinking otherwise. I jump out of bed and into the bathroom to shower and get dress. I hurry to groom myself for work and a plan to stop as many people that are part of the riot. I only have less than 24 hours to save people from their deaths. I saw many people dying in the Tiananmen Square which is where the riot is being held. I can’t control my nerves as I pack my briefcase and tuck in my shirt. My wife calls for me so she can fix my tie. As soon as she hands me my lunch I hastily kiss her on the cheek and holler my goodbye. I’m out the door before she answers to my farewell. As I unlock my bike I run back into the house. I tell her not to leave the house today and just stay inside. She nods her head and I’m out the house a second after. I ride my bike as fast as I could in the mass heap of morning traffic. I don’t have time for falling over in this traffic. Finally making to work five minutes earlier, I see a group of men discussing about the riot tomorrow night. As I fasten my bike to my usual pole I study their facial expressions. No sign of anger or worry but a calm, excited faces. They don’t know the terror that is going to happen that night. I storm over to where they were sitting and I notice they were talking about the riot as if it’s a huge party. I feel anger rise in me but I contain it and plead them not to be a part of tomorrow’s riot. They cuss me out for being on the side of the government. I argue that I am not with the government and beg them again. Nothing worked so they walked off, laughing at how much a fool that I sounded like. I punch my card in and the work day goes on without me trying to start anything. Lunch break, I go to the cafeteria with my usual group that aren’t part of tomorrow’s riot and eat my packed lunch. While I was eating I was thinking of a new way to grab people’s attention away from the riot. Nothing came to mind. It was odd that nothing in particular came to mind. So I went grocery shopping for my wife and return home. That night at dinner, I told my wife everything. I told her about the riot, the precognitive dream, and what happened today. She understood why I acted the way I did. She told me that I won’t be able to change anybody’s mind. I cried in her arms that night because I didn’t have the power to save the people around me. I fell asleep after I had no more tears to cry. Today was the day where the day would be ruined. June 3, 1989 would be a memorial day. Many graves would be dunged tomorrow. But I now know I didn’t have the power to change anything and decided to walk to work today. I left an hour early and told my wife to once again to not leave the house. I left and walked with my head down to hide my puffy eyes. I got to work ten minutes late and got a scolding by my boss. He told me just because a riot is happening tonight doesn’t give me the reason to slack off. I nodded and walked to my desk. I got no work done today and I ran home without groceries and my wife didn’t scold me. She nodded and gave me an ‘I understand’ look. We slept in each other’s arms. Midnight struck and I couldn’t sleep any longer. I ran to the Tiananmen Square in my night wear, not caring to see fire and soldiers. I dropped to my knees as I see my neighbors, friends and relatives being shot by the government’s army. I dropped my head into my hands and cried for the loss. I cried for the loss of friends, families and strangers. These people are part of China’s nation and the government is just going to strike against them without mercy to his own people. I feel anger and sorrow built up into me as I feel a wet sensation on my knee. I look up and pass my blurred eyes; I saw an old man with a blood stained face. I try to bandage him up it was no use. He died in my arms as my tears streak down his pain stricken face. I stand and the firing had cease. I see myself covered in that man’s blood with a tear streaked face in a puddle of blood. I feel a person pulling at my arm. I see my wife and panic strikes me. I reach for her hand and we run to safety in our home. As we wait. All night long I feel worry and anxiety that the police with come bursting through our bedroom door any moment now but they don’t. I stayed up all night and when I see that it is already dawn, I reach over to wake my wife but she’s not there. I panic and search for her downstairs and the other rooms. I scream her name as tears start falling from my eyes again. She calls my name while running down the stairs. She reaches me and asks me what’s wrong and what happened over and over again. What seems like forever I stop crying and tell her I thought they had taken her from me. I slowed my breathing that sounded like a whimper until there was not a single sound in the house. She lifted me up and told me to get ready for work and continue the day because tonight we have to mourn for those who died last night. I walk to work again and there is nobody on the streets but me. I pondered on whether I should go to work. I go anyways and I arrive at the office building. I go in and my boss then tells me to go home and mourn for the lost of so many lives. I agreed and I made my way to the store to go grocery shopping. I carry my sorrow and bags home when I see a column of tanks sweeping the streets. I see people peeking from the dark alleys, dark windows and dark sadness. I feel all of my emotions surge from me all at once as I stop walking right in the path of the tanks. I turn to face the communist government and army by myself. I stand in front of this massive machine that can crush me at any moment by instead they try to swerve around me but then I move to get into the way again. I will represent the souls that died. I climb on top of the tank and bang on the lid of where the soldiers are and shout on the top of my lungs. “How could you kill so many people? You will never reach nirvana you f****** bastards.” I started to cry. “You will be sorry for killing our nation. You could have pushed them out or restrain them instead of killing.” I jump off and I stand in the way as they turn off their engines one at a time. A man comes up to me and telling me to run and hide. I send another killing stare at the man in the tank and run off to my wife. I come home and tell my wife to pack and to hurry. I go and arrange for a carriage to carry our belongings and treasures somewhere new so we can start a new #life. A #life where we can be free of the Chinese government. We pack everything starting from clothing then to furniture. Our house is bare but still holds our presence of memories here but we leave anyways. My wife walks out the door and tends to the horses. I start to follow her when I stop in my tracks and look back. I look back once more and then leave without regretting anything. We head into the next country down south. We go into southern Vietnam. We settle down and have our first born running around and playing in the wet rice fields as we await our second born. I feel calm and at peace but I hear rumors of the civilians of China call me the Tank Man and I did an inspirational thing; that I inspired people and the government to change. I was glad to hear it even if the news where not true. Throughout this story I have not said a single name not even mine. I will remain anonymous and unknown. Now you know my inspiring story. What will you do with knowledge now?

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