Character Building (I) Allow me to introduce myself. I am a man in his mid-twenties. I come from a loving and caring background. Im educated. I have a promising job and the rest of my #life will likely offer the comfort many people would envy. By all accounts I should be a respected citizen and see out the remainder of #life happily. But that is impossible. You see I live inside my head rather than the 'real' world. I don't even believe the conditioned world we see around us is 'real' at all. I need bleak, depressing realities in my #life. I turn to film, music and books to provide this. I'm never happier than when I am alone to experience something out with the norm portrayed by a director or created by an author for my benefit. I think it's because I'm fed up with the falseness around me - the plastered smiles, forced conversation and translucent emotion. I like to believe this because otherwise I may be a sociopath. I'll give you an example and let you make your own mind up: A long-term girlfriend once told me about the breakdown of her parents marriage. She confided and trusted in me explaining all in great detail. She started to cry. I laughed. She cried more, I laughed more. She let out this terrific wailing sound that I can still hear this day and when I do, a smirk stretches across my face like a slimy writhing worm. You may not be surprised to hear the relationship didn't last. Not that I was too bothered, the sex had gotten stale. She thought I was bipolar. She was just needy. So there's one example. You may have judged me already but I don't care. Every so often someone will ask me why I have this incessant desire to feel down in the dumps. Why I watch and read about the end of the world, the universe and existence if it only makes me feel down. A question that only highlights their stupidity. It's not a desire to feel 'down in the dumps', it's a desire to be in a place where none of you exist. A place where only I matter. Actually that's a lie. The true answer is that if I lived like them, happily ignorant and waiting to die I would be dead already. I never tell them this of course, they are supposed to be loved ones after all. So this has been an introduction to me and I'm sure it's been a pleasure. My name is of no relevance to any of this and if you're anything like me you wouldn't care what it is anyway. I certainly don't care what yours is.