Deep In #depression #depression. When it comes to you, it hits you hard. You start to feel like there will no longer be a tomorrow. You're entering an abyss of darkness. But somehow, that darkness is addicting. You're addicted to seeing black all around you and soon, pessimism covers you from head to toe. Then you start to realize, it is choking you. You push and you pull, but it's no use. You are so steeped in your #depression that it has become you. You forget your dreams, your hopes. What was once so interesting to you feels like a grey canvas. You start to lose yourself. Who are you? What do you want? What do you need? Need. You need help, and you know it. But the #depression, it is addictive for something so destructive. You hate it, but sudden withdrawal is painful. Need. You need someone to understand; someone who will share your pessimism, your darkness, but not be a slave to it like you are. And now you're lonely. You hate yourself. All the thinking made you lose your train of thought. You curse yourself for being so worthless. Yes, lately, that's what you think you are--a worthless piece of garbage. You suck at everything you do while everybody else rises high above you. You suck at what you used to love to do. You suck at even the littlest thing. Worthless. Depressed. It is not a damn joke! You can hear people talking about you, laughing at you, even when a rational part of your mind tells you the opposite. And you don't want to involve your parents but the thought comes to you. You hate yourself all of a sudden again because you tried so hard not to include them in your #depression. Now you have to think of them. And thinking of them makes you so uneasy, not that you despise them but more so because you feel they despise you. Isn't that always the way? You're depressed. You feel paranoid. Your self-esteem decreases by the minute. Your messed-up mind makes up some stupid story how your parents will condemn you for being such a cowering wimp, and probably themselves for the insane child they brought into this world. I swear, #depression is hell. Trust me...because I've pretty much described to you what I feel right now.