"Relax, I'm proving your point to Cap'." Tony said vaguely as he typed 'abba karaoke drunk' into YouTube. "I liked jukeboxes." Captain America said, faintly sulkily. Some crackly, mobile-phone recorded footage began behind them. "You do still find them sometimes." Banner said, attempting to cheer up the miserable superhero. It was hard for the blonde man. Whilst every new thing he learned made him more familiar with the world around him, it made the old world that he knew and loved that tiny bit more distant and unavailable. "I know but . . ." Steve said, miserably shifting in his seat. He bit his lip before admitting shame-facedly, "I danced with Peggy Carter to a jukebox song once . . ." Banner sympathetically patted the man on the shoulder. Then they heard a gleeful gasp from Tony. "Oh . . . My . . .!" The man said, eyes wide. "What?" Banner asked. Across the room, Hawkeye and Natasha looked up, intrigued by Tony's interest. Even Loki stirred from his drawing, rubbing his eyes blearily. They felt sore. To be honest, his entire head felt a bit thick and dizzy. Tony just leaned back in his chair, grinning like a particularly well-fed Cheshire cat. "Does this voice sound familiar to you?" They listened to the music. Well I could dance with you honey If you think it's funny Does your mother know that you're out? And I could chat with you baby Flirt a little maybe Does your mother know that you're out? "Actually . . ." Hawkeye conceded, tilting his head curiously to the side. "It does." "Who is it?" Black Widow asked, coming over. Tony couldn't answer though. He was trying far too hard not to laugh. "Oh, for Goodness' sake . . ." Steve grabbed the laptop and swivelled it round so he could see. Then he gaped. " . . . Is that-?" "Yes!" Tony giggled. "Singing-" "Yes!" "Will you two just tell us already?" Natasha growled, impatiently. Trying hard not to laugh himself now, Steve turned the laptop so she and Hawkeye could see. They frowned for a moment, trying to recognise the pixel-y figure. Then their jaws dropped. "DR. SELVIG?" Tony finally managed to get his chuckling under control, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. "This is an opportunity that is far too good to waste . . ." "Opportunity for what?" Banner asked, reclaiming his laptop. "Monumental amounts of piss-taking!" There was a quiet sneeze from the back. "Bless you." Tony said, automatically, before he realised it had been Loki. "Seriously, Tony?" Banner said, disdainfully. "You want to mock the man? Would you want all the stuff you're ashamed of rubbed in your face?" "I am devious enough to ensure that there is no evidence of all the things I am ashamed of." Tony pointed out. "Actually, I owe him for laughing at me when I needed help working the DVD player." Steve admitted. Tony just grinned evilly. "Well then, what are we waiting for?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jane Foster loved Thor. She really did. He was a wonderful man . . . God . . . Person. But, she did wish he would stop lurking at her elbow like an enormous, hammer-wielding Labrador when she was trying to work complicated scientific machinery. "Is this like The Google?" The man was asking, curiously, as he tapped an electron microscope with a tentative finger. Tony and Banner had introduced him to the internet. As a result, Thor was having trouble understanding that some things were completely unrelated to 'The Google' as, in his mind, Technology = Computers and Computers = Internet = The Google = Funny cats. "No, it's a microscope." Jane explained, gently, taking the man by the jaw and angling his face so that his eyes were at the lenses. "We use it to see very small things." Thor let out an excited little noise as he viewed the crystal fragments under the scope and Jane shook her head with a smile. Alright, it was mildly irritating having the man getting under her feet. But he was so adorably keen and his face lit up so much when he discovered something new that she honestly wouldn't have it any other way. Across the other side of the room, Selvig rolled his eyes fondly as Thor proudly informed Jane that he had figured out how to focus the microscope all by himself. It was like having a 6'3" bearded hulk of a seven year old following them around. Then Selvig noticed something and frowned. "Jane?" "Yes?" She looked up. "Why is there a rubber chicken in the centrifuge?" They looked. Sure enough, there was a rubber chicken in the centrifuge. Jane's eyebrows quirked. "I used that not five minutes ago. And there was no rubber chicken in it then." Thor tensed as something occurred to him. "Well, I didn't put it there and no one's come in." Selvig pointed out. Jane opened her mouth to answer but then she noticed that Thor was sniffing the air suspiciously. "What is it?" She asked. "Do you smell that?" He asked. She sniffed. She could smell something. It was an odd smell, her nostrils unable to categorise it. It was somewhere between coal tar and gun powder but there was another undertone which was difficult to pin down. "Yeah . . ." She mused. "It's odd . . . It smells . . ." "Sparkly." Selvig said, bewildered. Jane opened her mouth to point out that smells can't be sparkly, but then she paused. Because he was right. It DID smell sparkly. How the hell did that work then? Thor reached for his hammer. His jaw set firmly. "We need to go upstairs." "Why? What is that smell?" Jane asked. "Magic." He said, grimly. "Loki?" Jane said, excitedly. She looked across to Selvig but he'd pre-empted her and was already grabbing the bag of popcorn that they always kept on hand for just such an occasion. Watching Loki make a run for it was better than going to the cinema. "Yes. Loki." Thor grumbled, irritation rising in his chest. They'd go and sort out his brother and then return swiftly; he wanted continue playing with the microscope. And see if he could figure out how to access The Google from it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Sir?" The languid drawl of JARVIS cut in to the Avenger's conversation. "The good Doctor, Miss Foster and Mr. Thor are on their way to you now." "Brilliant!" Tony grinned. "Everyone ready?" "You really are an absolute child." "And you, Mr. Banner, are a buzz-kill." The door flew open and they all took a deep breath but, before they could put their plan into action, Thor's booming voice cut in. "Where is he?" They blinked, mildly annoyed at the Thunder God for . . . Well, stealing their thunder. "Who?" "My brother." Thor growled, entering the room. "He's over there. Same as he is damn near every day." Tony said, pointing at the dark figure who was scratching agitatedly at his mask. Thor looked confused. "So, he has not tried to escape?" " . . . No." "But we smelt magic." "Oh, so that's what that smell is?" They were interrupted by another muffled sneeze from Loki. "What?!" Hawkeye's shout promptly captured their attention. Turning, they discovered that the assassin was staring in bewilderment at his quiver which, having previously contained arrows, now held three dozen peacock feathers. There was an electric buzz and cut-off yelp of pain from behind them and, when they turned again, it was to discover that Loki had frantically resumed attempting to claw his mask off. Understanding dawned on Thor's face. He pointed with Mjolnir. "That is not the mask I had made for my brother. The one I made him wear did not cover his nose." "No." Tony explained. "I made him a new one." "Why?" "Because ol' God of Mischief over there was driving us all crazy with his magical pranks. And, we've been meaning to talk to you about that actually, we thought his magic was compromised on Asgard as a safety meas-" But Tony didn't get to finish as Thor promptly grabbed him by the shoulder and dragged him over to his brother. "Take the mask off him." Thor ordered. Loki peered up at him through gummy eyes. Up close, they could see that the man definitely wasn't 100% healthy. His skin was waxy and even paler than usual and he was trembling. However, Tony was not so easily convinced. "Are you insane?" He asked, bluntly. "We keep him masked for a reason." "Yes, and I am demanding you unmask him for a reason!" Tony's reply was interrupted by Loki sneezing again. The desk chair that Steve was sat on suddenly turned into a sheep which promptly decided it didn't like being used as furniture and legged it, not caring much about the indignity inherent in knocking America's first superhero on his arse. The God and Iron Man were distracted from Captain America's increasingly vocal plight by a buzz, shortly followed high-pitched cry of pain from beneath Loki's mask. Then, they turned as the Jotunn gave a little whimper of misery. What they could see of his face bore an expression of humiliated revulsion. They stared at him for a moment, before Tony figured it out. "You just got snot all up the inside of your mask, didn't you?" Loki nodded, unhappily. "Man of Iron, I am not fooling with you." Thor said, in a warning tone. "It is vital that you remove that mask. My brother is sick and not currently in control of his magic. Keeping him in that device which shocks him for what is essentially an involuntary reflex is akin to torture." Tony chewed on his lip, wavering. "What is wrong with him? How did he get sick?" "In an attempt to limit the amount of pain he receives at the hands of your device, my brother has been refraining from using his magic." "But surely that's a good thing?" Tony asked, bewildered. Thor threw up his hands in frustration. "Idiot mortal!" He cried. "Magic is not a Google machine which turns on and off and which you can use only when you need. Magic is energy! And if the energy is not given an outlet then it builds up and up until it reaches dangerous levels! The last time Loki attempted not to use magic for more than a lunar cycle, the resulting discharge of magic levelled several buildings. And these are Asgardian buildings designed to withstand magic! Not flimsy Midgardian structures which topple whenever the ground shakes! When did you place this device upon my brother?" Tony shifted uneasily from foot to foot. "Was it more than a lunar cycle ago?" Thor demanded. "It 's been about a month and a half since I made it." Tony admitted. There was another sneeze and the sheep suddenly found it had wings and flew out through an open window. Then the mask buzzed and Loki howled, grabbing at the mask and attempting to tear it from his face. Thor's huge fist slammed onto the table. "REMOVE IT!" He roared. But Tony was already fumbling to obey and everyone watch with bated breath as Thor held his struggling brother's head still as Tony inserted a key into the side of the mask. Then, the device slid off and Loki let out a strangled sob of relief at the feel of air on his face for the first time in months. Tony stepped back awkwardly as Loki shakily wiped his snotty face on his sleeve like a child. Thor looked at him, anxiously. "I am so sorry, brother." He said, hand automatically reaching out to rest comfortingly on Loki's head. "Had I realised I never would have allowed it." Loki's manacled hand snatched hold of his brother's wrist, halting its progressed. "Were you not so fixated on getting that human wench to part her legs for you then you would have realised long before now and this would not be happening!" The effects of Loki's angry words were not lessened by the mumbling effect of mucus or the hoarse breathiness caused by his sore throat. Jane sucked in a gasp at the man's cruelty. But did not attempt to defend Thor. After all, dickhead that he was, the man was right. Thor shrank back as though physically struck. "We have seen each other. You could have told me." He said, weakly. Loki rounded on him. "When! When you are too busy raving about her beautiful eyes to even notice that I have a torture device attached to my face? When we're travelling between realms and even your ego can not be heard over the sound of the wind? Or is it meant to be in that heartbeat that we have between arriving in Asgard and me being thrown back in my cell with the accursed thing still attached to my face and reacting to the magic in the atmosphere so that I am subject to repeated shocks all night long! And, do I really need to point out the idiocy inherent in the concept of getting a gagged man to tell you that he is gagged!" There was a humming pause. Tony winced, guiltily. He genuinely hadn't foreseen the consequences of his device. Particularly with regards how it reacted in Asgard. It would certainly explain why Loki was currently so docile in Midgard, it was the one point where –providing he didn't use magic - he WASN'T bombarded with electric shocks and he was probably grateful for the rest. Loki rubbed at the marks on his face caused by the constant chafing of the metal. "A true king would not let romance give him such limited vision so as to exclude the needs of all others. And as a result of your lack of observation, now this entire region of Midgard is in danger. So, what would you advise we do, Sire?" He said, spitefully. Thor's hand shrank back. Steve stepped forwards, looking rather dishevelled from his tussle with the sheep. "IS there anything we can do?" He asked. Loki turned to him, eying him resentfully. "I am not truly certain." He admitted, the words being dragged from him slowly, reluctant to admit his lack of knowledge. "The last time this occurred it resulted in a catastrophic discharge of magic which levelled several buildings. I had no control in the matter, as I have no control now." "Your magic has been limited though." Thor pointed Everyone flinched as the man sneezed. Then, the Jotunn let out a shout of alarm. Large black cat ears had appeared on his head and a hasty fumble beneath his cloak revealed that an agile tail had also sprouted. They stared in amazement for a long moment. But, then Tony couldn't quite manage to stifle a snort and, like a dam bursting, they all fell about laughing. Loki lurched to his feet. "Pathetic mortals, how dare you mock me!" He spat, his ears flattened angrily to his head and the fur on his tail bristling. However, they were gone. They couldn't have stopped laughing even if they tried. Hawkeye was actually on the floor, Natasha had to rest against the wall to support herself and Banner was leaning heavily on Steve and holding onto his stomach as his gut rippled with that deep, silent belly laugh which is actually quite painful but only makes your mirth all the more intense. Loki's teeth bared as he glared at the irreverent humans. He opened his mouth to scream. "YOU ARE WEAK, YOU ARE FEEBLE, YOU ARE BENEATH ME. DO NOT LAUGH AT ME!" However, much to his shock, the final word tailed off into a feline-sounding shriek and, before he could stop himself, he had clapped his hand to his mouth in surprise. The bewildered look on his face, coupled with the way his ears had twitched up in alarm, was enough to completely floor Banner and Steve was laughing so hard he actually ripped his suit. Thor watched, fighting his own chuckles, as his little brother's ears and tail drooped dejectedly. Then Loki tensed. "Brother, what is wrong?" The God of Thunder asked. "I have just recalled something." Loki said, voice thick with another pending sneeze. "What?" "Do you remember Mother's feline companion which she had when we were both little?" "Ye . . . oh." Thor paused, realising what his brother meant. Loki was allergic to cats. His brother jerked as another sneeze racked his body. The sofa which Jane Foster had sat herself on suddenly decided that the woman looked tasty and parted its cushions, causing her to topple back into its newly-developed mouth. Luckily, Banner and Steve managed to grab hold of the woman's left foot and promptly began a tug-of-war in an attempt to reclaim the scientist from its ravenous depths. Another explosive sneeze and suddenly JARVIS' voice began echoing around the room. Taking a break from his usual inclination towards snark and sarcasm, the AI instead seemed to have taken it into his robotic head to begin a rousing sea shanty. 'In South Australia I was born, Heave away, haul away! South Australia, round Cape Horn, And we're bound for South Australia! Haul away you rolling king, Heave away, haul away! All the way you'll hear me sing, We're bound for South Australia!' Another sneeze and all the cupboard doors in Tony's mini-bar started providing the drum accompaniment. Tony ducked as yet another sneeze caused a parrot to come hurtling in through the open window and fly around above their heads, screeching 'RAWRK! BOUND FOR SOUTH AUSTRALIA! RAWRK!' "THOR, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP YOUR BROTHER FROM SNEEZING!" Banner howled, as the sofa began to growl at them, resenting the superheroes attempts to steal its dinner. They had managed to get the other leg free and Hawkeye and Black Widow had grabbed onto it however, now the sofa had dug its heels in and was refusing to relinquish any more. A particularly explosive sneeze and Thor found his arms full of a dizzy Jotunn who had reverted back to his natural blue complexion and red eyes. "Don't you think I'm trying!" Thor yelled, his beard becoming increasingly luxuriant and braiding and un-braiding itself of its own accord. Attempting to struggle back to his feet, Loki wheezed. His head was swimming from the oxygen deprivation caused by the rampant sneezing and magic was coursing through every blood vessel in his body with the result that his veins felt full of fizzy sherbet. A yowling sneeze and the final slice of pizza left over from their lunch began to crawl across the floor towards freedom, only to be snatched up by Steve who dangled it over the sofa to use as bait. Tempted by the smell of the pizza, the sofa opened its fabric mouth wide in an attempt to encourage Steve to drop it in. With a massive yell and a yank, the four superheroes pulled Jane free, Steve lobbing the slice of pizza into the waiting gap which closed with a loud snap. A few seconds later and the cushions flew apart to emit a rumbling belch. Jane looked a bit battered and was covered in dust but was otherwise unharmed. "What the hell do we do?" She cried, staring at Loki who, with another almighty sneeze, caused Dr. Selvig's shoes to turn into fluffy bunny slippers. "Shutting him up would be favourite!" Tony yelped, diving to one side as the parrot went streaking past in an explosion of bright blue feathers. "How though?" Dr. Selvig pointed out, attempting to grab the parrot. "If he's anything like his brother then it'll take him half a liquor store to get a little merry. I don't think two paracetamol and a pack of tissues are going to cut it!" "How's about we force feed him about a crate of Night Nurse?" Natasha suggested, attempting to control her hair which was currently behaving like Medusa's snakes. "Night Nurse! Are you mad! He's bad enough when he's not tripping the light fantastic! And if there's anyone guaranteed to take it the wrong way and wind up seeing tiny dancing chickens, it's going to be him." Banner pointed out as he rigged a net to catch the parrot with. Another sneeze and Tony was forced to leave the parrot hunt as his Iron Man suit gained an admirable degree of sentience and The unfortunate affair with the alien invasion had been the beginning of a steep learning curve for the Avengers. And for one of them in particular . . . "Alright . . ." Captain America sighed, rubbing his forehead. "What next?" Stark and Banner had taken it upon themselves to educate the Spandex Wonder – as Tony insisted on calling him – as to what happened in the world during his time encased in ice. The two science geniuses both had a flare for lecturing as it turned out and Steve was learning impressively fast. He had sat there for hours diligently taking notes as they had informed him about all the weird and wonderful things that he had missed. He had two full notebooks full of key historical and political events such as the Civil Rights Movements, the Moon landing and the fall of the Soviet Union. Another three notebooks contained notes on military events in the past half century – He had snapped his pen in two during their sessions on Vietnam. As a result, the other two had hastily switched subjects to the lighter end of things. Yesterday had been film and today was music. They were sat in Bruce's floor of the newly rebuilt 'A' Tower – Formerly Stark Towers- slowly but surely working their way through the big music sensations of the past sixty–odd years. Hawkeye and Black Widow exchanged an exhausted look from where they were sat across the room performing routine maintenance on their weapons. They had just had to listen to The Beatles' Yellow Submarine...