I'm Sorry This was a #poem I wrote for my best friend last year when I felt I was taking up all of her time and energy.... She's still my best friend, and I love her. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the sarcasm I'm sorry for the lies I'm sorry for constantly living Two different lives. I'm the happiest girl one minute And down in the dumps the next. I, myself, don't get it And neither do the rest. I know it's not your responsibility To cheer me up when I'm down, So I'm really really sorry Whenever it comes around. I can't stop it It won't go away It seems like its getting worse Each and every day. You tell me to hide it I promise you I try But you always know when I'm sad And then you wonder why. So I tell you what's bothering me And you know what you do? You look me in the eyes and say "It'll be okay, I'm here for you." I believe you then I believe you now But sometimes it won't go away It just comes back somehow. If I shove it back into my brain And pretend everything's alright One day my eyes will start to rain And on that day I'll need you to hold me tight. All of me wants to believe it And then there's a little tug "you'll never be good enough"... Sometimes all I need is a hug. You don't need to try to cheer me up You do that just by smiling Although I might not show it on the outside, Inside I'm crying. I'm crying for two reasons, One of which is really true. The first is because I doubt myself And the second is because I love you. They're tears of joy gushing free Because I can't believe That someone as awesome as you Would be friends with someone like me. You put up with all of my crud Which not a lot of people would do. That just makes me so much more thankful, Thankful that I have you. Your laugh and beautiful smile Automatically make my day 100x better than it would've been And slap me if you may, But I also love your little nubbins Trust me, it's true For without the dang fly-aways, Well, you wouldn't be you. I love laughing with you about All your bird obsessions and cares Like "girl look at that wingspan" And the way he fluffs his hair. I don't know what I would do without you I honestly can't think. But if you hadn't come to Western I would've been pushed to the brink. For more than half of the year I've laughed so hard with you And it sucks that for the rest of it You've had to help me through Everything that's coming back From a long time ago I can't help myself from thinking That I should let you know - I'm sorry for letting myself Create bad scenarios at times It's the devil getting in my head and making my heart whine. I don't actually think you'll get fed up with me For venting to you a lot My brain is just afraid, you see Because you're all I've got. I know I've said all this before It's probably getting old And I've said I'm sorry 100+ times And every time you've told me that "its alright, you're forgiven." "you would do the same for me" "we're friends, it's what we do" And friends I hope we'll forever be. Every laugh Every tear Every hug Every smile Every glance Every fight Every joke Every time we say goodnight I think about how blessed I am That God placed you in my #life. Thank you, Em.