I Have A Secret Okay so if you're going to judge..

Translate 12 years ago

I Have A Secret Okay so if you're going to judge me, please don't read. Okay here's my secret. When I was in sixth grade, I met a guy named Maddy. He made me feel good about myself. I felt wanted and pretty. Those were things I'd never felt before. I saw myself as hideous and useless. I didn't like myself. I started dating Maddy and the very first day he asked me to send nude pictures. I didn't so he broke up with me. It hurt terribly bad. I THOUGHT we loved each other. I continued to talk to him but only as friends. I promised myself not to let him hurt me again. He continued asking me to send nude pictures. If I didn't he wouldn't talk to me. He'd ignore me for weeks at a time. I was addicted to his compliments. I NEEDED them. Finally I agreed to send a picture. I let him tell his friends that we hooked up. He said it'd make us BOTH look good. Soon his friends began texting me and asking for nude pictures. I sent a couple guys the pictures. They made me feel almost perfect. They told me things like," You have the body of an angel." I became obsessed with the thought of actually being pretty. One day I went to school and I was called a whore. They said I was a slut and easy. The bullying became so bad that at the end of seventh grade I had to move schools. One girl started a rumor that I was a lesbian. She said that I hooked up with her. I felt alone. Nobody had respect for me anymore. This girl even pushed me into a table then punched me. She threw me on the ground and punched me several more times. Teachers dragged her out of the room and I just stayed on the floor and cried. I stopped eating, I began cutting, I even attempted suicide. Over the summer I joined a website called flipnote hatena. I pretended that it was my real #life, I felt wanted there. I was popular, I had many friends, I even dated a couple guys online. I became obsessed with this "#life" that I'd created for myself. It was all a fairy tale. I became a slut online though. I knew it was time to quit the website when people called me names online. Today, I have major #depression. I have suicidal thoughts everyday. I wonder why I'm even alive. I have a girlfriend and there is so many people that's against me because I'm bisexual. I have to deal not only with my problems, but also my girlfriend's problems with her parents not supporting her decision to soon change her gender. I am alone. I take counseling but it doesn't help. My name is Heavyn and I hate myself

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Never be ashamed of who you are, as long as your not hurting others. Keep bad people out if your life, because they only hurt you because they are in a worse place

· 0 · 1356480383

^ yes don't be ashamed& learn to love who you areðThis is so sad,but don't give up you're stronger than you think -big hug-ð If you need someone, let's talkð& â¨Welcome to Opuss!â¨

· 0 · 1356576259

@ashhkat @likedami thanks for being supportive.

· 0 · 1356577073

Bless your heart ,,, I tell you what how about you create characters for yourself in which you can amuse yourself and others this way you will get the same buzz you get from a guy saying your well lush or sum thing cheesy lol I'm telling you it's time you amused you, get that feeling of real compliments for things that you can do without having to be a pupet for people as you are more then that ,,, sometime in us guys life we tend to think of only one thing ,,, and you know what that is ,,, a bit shallow if you ask me ,, there is so much in this world we can be doing in general but we spend so much time thinking about being sexy and what we see on tv ,,, the truth is the real super stars are the people who are just plain ordinary shall I tell you why because they are . Keep ur head up girl nothing wrong with being bi ,,, but there is a lot wrong with trying to keep in with the in cloud believe me I know ,,, bless ya

· 0 · 1356578716

I meant with the in crowd not cloud lol

· 0 · 1356578792

@tannar thanks for being supportive hun(:

· 0 · 1356579493

No prob girl ,, just keep positive things change ,,, you from America then ?

· 0 · 1356580551

@HeavynLeighLove anytime lovelyð

· 0 · 1356582524

From England actually but I live in America now. @tannar

· 0 · 1356629048

O I see ,, ill be looking coward to you writing a story on here for us all to read @tannar

· 0 · 1356630445

Me and my spelling I meant forward ,, lol

· 0 · 1356630477

@tannar well I'll try to get the story to you soon(: any ideas for one?

· 0 · 1356664910

Well I'm thinking of a story about a magic seesaw ,,, that's takes people to another place ,, what do you think ?

· 0 · 1356665172

There could be the two main character being either boy or girl who finds some kind of crystal black stone which they place on this seasaw ,, they could be sitting on there on there own then suddenly appears a type of genie ,,, care to add to that ?

· 0 · 1356665390

@tannar hmm... Very creative. I'll attempt to write about that.

· 0 · 1356665644

You can make it a best seller I'm sure you can lol ,, where did you live in England ,

· 0 · 1356665850

Cornwall

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I'm in the wrong place in the world I want to be in America ,,, do you prefer it over there ? Or here ?

· 0 · 1356666359

@tannar I'd much rather be in England. I plan on moving there again when I'm older.

· 0 · 1356666483

What age did you go there ? How old are u now ?

· 0 · 1356666610

@tannar I moved here at 6. I'm 16 now

· 0 · 1356666836

O I see ,, take u have an American accent lol ,, we can do a swap like they do in that programme switch

· 0 · 1356667372

@tannar sadly I have an English accent. People make here in America for it I would love to switch. I hate America

· 0 · 1356667555

Is there not more opportunities over there ? Are the people not friendly as much ?

· 0 · 1356668062

@tannar well... Idk about the opportunity thing. People here are just rude though

· 0 · 1356669067

I did think they can be a bit arrogant at times ,,,lol Are you studying then ?

· 0 · 1356669420

@tannar studying? Like...? Idk I'm in high school. I graduate next year. Then I'm going to go to college to be an anesthesiologist. Even though I'd much rather be a singer or an actress.

· 0 · 1356669613

@tannar hmm.. Emailing really? Isn't it a bit... Old fashioned?

· 0 · 1356669832

True ,,,,, girl I can't believe it's nearly five on the morning over here ,,, hope to read that book soon lol night night girl and get writing

· 0 · 1356670056

@tannar it's 11:49 here. Goodnight dear. Sleep well.(:

· 0 · 1356670168

You can do both ,,, it's a good mix you can do ur music in evening and take drama classes ,,,

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· 0 · 1356670317

It must be at least 1 in the morning where u are ain't it ?

· 0 · 1356722639

@tannar it's 3:34pm right now

· 0 · 1356726894

I I see ,, yesterday when you said old fashioned I didn't know what you meant ,, but I got what u were saying now ,, as there other apps on the iPhone I didn't know that ð how dum am I

· 0 · 1356727084

@tannar you aren't dumb love

· 0 · 1356727355

Just I don't know much about the phone apps I'm new to the iPhone you see lol

· 0 · 1356728537

Have you thought of anything to add to the story about the majick seasaw

· 0 · 1356728614

@tannar no. I haven't thought about it. I've been instagramming all day

· 0 · 1356728739

What's that ?

· 0 · 1356738256

@tannar a social network

· 0 · 1356738362

What's the address for it

· 0 · 1356738944

It's quite kool actually ðthanks

· 0 · 1356740528

@tannar mhm... If you make an account look me up. HeavynLeighLove

· 0 · 1356740626

I think you should delete this board as iv filled up with useless conmments lol

· 0 · 1356741349

@tannar ehhh it's fine

· 0 · 1356741413

Have you read that poem by irrational it was quite deep ?

· 0 · 1356741718

@tannar nope

· 0 · 1356741812

Your climbing up them ladders urself I swear y were a thousand sumthing ,,, lol ur catching up to me ,,, shall we wright one back to back ,,

· 0 · 1356742038

@tannar i don't even do anything on here though

· 0 · 1356742195

Translate 12 years ago

Liz

ashhkat

HeavynLeighLove

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