Jimmothy, The Call Of Nature, Part Deux Now, gentle fatties, warm yourselves before the fire as I begin once more with tales of Jimmothy's heroic deeds. Our friend...and sometimes heavy-breathing sex-fantasy...Jimmothy, had been set the task of finding the presumably lovely moosette Olga's cousin...and yes that was her actual name...also we say 'presumably lovely' since its kind of hard to tell with a moose even for one with Jimmothy's superior taste...his general rule of thumb being "mo antlers mo problems." Jimmothy had been in the wilderness for over a month now...admittedly two weeks had been lost as a result of munching on some mushrooms of ill-repute; leaving Jimmothy transfixed by the moss on a log. Some time had also been lost laying low in some shrubberies hiding from the law...totally overblown accusations of homicide had emerged following the stampeding of a child...who BY THE WAY had had some very hurtful things to say about the length of Jimmothy's tail....which is totally above average!! Besides what kind of dumbass gets stampeded by one animal? But that's neither here nor there as Jimmothy had never seen or heard of that evil vindictive little asshole child and knew nothing of the evidence accumulated in his antlers, OK?! SO STOP ASKING!! Anyway, the search was on! Jimmothy looked high and low...then ditched the uppers and downers as they had started giving him sweaty hooves, the muchies and palpitations...then immediately found her near the other mooses. Yes! Bathe in his reflected glory!! For he, Jimmothy, had rescued a damsel in distr....well...maybe not distress per se. Gallantly he approached, decided she was kind of fugly and abandoned the quest. And so soft fatties we reach the end of this tale of adventure and glorious achievement. What lesson did you learn? "Drugs are bad?!" What story were YOU listening to?? Drugs are awesome! J-Dawg was staring at a log for TWO WEEKS! Hahahahaha you can't make that shit up...naw the lessons are; "if you are accused of a crime: deny, deny, deny" and "before undertaking hazardous damsel-saving quests: do your research." So says Jimmothy the wise...and also handsome...talented but like...totally down to earth, you know like REALLY real...not J-Lo "real." -excerpt of the chronicles of Jimmothy, as narrated by Jimmothy.