I looked up to you I looked up to you. You were everything I wanted to be: determined, powerful, strong, hardworking: where did that go? We live in completely different worlds, I live in a world where I have family to support me, a good education, friends who look out for me: you live in a world of hatred and anger, you live in a world where you don't care about anyone but yourself and you made me believe you cared about me. How could I have been so stupid? How could I? Yes you are my older cousin who I will always love, you taught me how to live, you taught me how to stand up for what I believe in ( I guess that's why I'm so opinionated now), you made me trust someone. You. You lived in Moldova, Russia with most of my mums family, you always told me how much you hated it there, however I loved it there, I loved seeing you help your disabled mum who couldn't walk, I loved it when you took me around to parks and we were running across 5 story buildings. It gave my #life excited and adventure. You always said I was your sister and you were my brother no matter what. So why did you leave? I knew you had problems with nan and your mum, they were always telling my mum how you had been asking for money and never paying them back. I was always on your side. No matter what anybody said, I was always on your side. You were my brother and I wouldn't let anybody convince me otherwise. Where were you this year? I only get to come up to Moldova one a year in the summer, you promised me no matter what you would always be there, but you weren't. So where we're you? I messaged you on Facebook and you told me you had moved out to live with your girlfriend. You abandoned the people who love and needed you most. You wanted to meet up with me, you didn't want me to tell my mum. That's not how things work with me. I tell my mum everything and everything I what I told her. I told her we were talking, I told her you wanted to meet me. When we met, we went to play pool just like we used to, then we got ice-cream. remember that time when we had 11 ice-creams, I do. Then you told me I had to go home. I didn't want to leave, I didn't want to go back to the reality of you not being around. So you dropped me off home and you left. I went in said I was home and went out to the park to see my friends. Well that's what I told the family, Actually I ran to the bench down the road where we sat and I cried, I cried and hoped you would come back.You didn't. All my friends were asking me what was wrong as they saw me run off, I said nothing wiped my face and got up. You don't even answer my messages anymore. What am I supposed to do? You are my hero, my love, my brother. I still look up to you, I just hope soon you will remember me and remember the times we had together, the time uou said we were together for ever.