I Wonder I wonder if they know that the motivation to do anything comes from the drive of not wanting THIS THING to consume me. I wonder if they can hear my heart pounding with every lie as I claim to be okay. If you had asked one year ago, it wouldn't have been a lie. If you asked me now, I'd give a practiced answer that made me cringe with every spiderweb that spilled out of my mouth. I'm afraid that my lies are going to trickle out of my ears like water one day. I'm afraid they'll eat me up and tangle me into a thousand knots that I can't untie. I'm afraid they'll hurt others more than they're hurting me. I wonder if I'll be able to make it through for one more day.
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