Midweek So yeah, today's Wednesday and I just got done with school works. I still need to review some more and do homework but I'm resting myself first. I had this encounter with 'past' a while ago. I am unconsciously trying to avoid our encounter these past few weeks not because I like to but because I'm doing her a favor. Why? Let me tell you why. There were a couple of times before that she ignored me. I was in front of her in all those moments, and yet she didn't take notice of my presence. And what's so shitty about it? Is that she was doing it on purpose. At first, I can't help but laugh, but then realization suddenly hit me. Maybe her 'new' told her to stop our communication or what not, OR maybe she just really doesn't want me in her #life anymore. And deep down, I know that's what we both need, for now... As time pass, realization dawns on me as I see now that we can't be friends, yet. Not as good as what we are trying to be. Why? Maybe because someone or both is still affected with each other's actions? I don't know. But I know one thing in mind that's true, and that is I know her 'new' is always affected when we still talk to one another—or when we hang out. That is why, for the benefit of her 'new' and the rest of the people around us that gets affected with our action towards each other as well, I took the liberty of doing her a favor by ignoring our precious encounters myself. What scares me is that, the more I avoid seeing 'past', the more we cross paths! It's very unexpected, and, unnerving. I don't even know if I am liking what's happening. But surely my feelings as of the moment are in favor of the negative side. And another thing, I don't know how I'll respond when she does talk to me. I just feel like I need some distance. Well actually, we haven't been speaking (as in having real talk) since when, since June? I'm not sure. So what more of the so called distance from one another could I possibly want? Haha. But the less we talk, the more things get awkward and weirder between us. I hope things will get better. When I say better I meant, things will be less complicated, less affected, and less of her. I just want to have a fresh new start without her in the picture, anymore. That is what I really want to have. And I don't think that's just some goal, it's actually what I feel I need, so I believe that's one ultimate goal. I do hope she does her part too, to not be an ass, not pretend that she didn't see me, and just avoid little talks if she doesn't really want to talk to me (and if she's been forbidden to). Because what I hate most, is lying pretentious stupid and acting like assholes people. Especially the ones whom I used to love. Thanks for letting me share this, Era x