Bottle It Up Have you ever felt so unwanted and depressed that you're at the verge of bursting into tears? I feel like that probably most of the time. I realized though I could never let out my feelings thinking that when I tell someone how I feel they just won't understand and I just feel worse. When I'm on the verge of tears and I lock myself in the room I could never bring myself to cry for some reason. Instead I just write it all down here and share my feelings to the world and hope that other people, basically strangers, understand. I want to cry but I just can't, I bottle it up and then when something really upsets me I let everything out and I snap. I can't help myself, it feels like I can't let out my feelings and when I do, everyone thinks I'm over dramatic. It feels as if I just can't win.
Maybe One Day Maybe one day I'll be famous. Maybe one day I'll be popular. Maybe one day I'll have a friend. Maybe one day I'll know someone who will like me for me. Maybe one day I'll meet someone who will understand me. Maybe one day someone notice me. Maybe one day I'll be accepted for myself. Maybe one day I'll be myself. Maybe one day I won't be afraid of not getting accepted for being myself. Maybe one day I'll realize that I shouldn't care what people think of me. Maybe one day I won't let my insecurities get to my head. Maybe one day I'll get a fresh start. Maybe one day I'll be myself, and today is that day. Everyday you should be yourself and if you aren't yourself start today and be yourself. Let people judge the real you, no one else.
Home Alone To the majority of people home is a safe place, a sanctuary. To me it's a place where I feel alone, a place where I don't want to be. I wake up in the morning and I'm greeted by emptiness that just fills my heart. I wait hour after hour looking at the clock every five minutes until my mom or dad gets home. My phones rings and I silently cry as they tell me that they are going to have to leave me home alone for another two hours or so. I wipe away my tears hiding my sadness. They ask if I'm okay, I lie again and reply with I'm fine when really I'm dying on the inside. I say goodbye and burst into tears when I end the call. #depression is my only friend and is always there even if no one else cares to know how I truly feel. No one sees the sadness within my eyes when I lie and say everything's fine.
Romance and Movies I watch chick flicks and read romance novels probably more than the average teen girl does. Every girl in the movies or books always ends up getting the hot guy and they live happily forever in love. I realized the girl was always the loser, and the boy was the popular kid or the other way around. I don't think that this ever happens in real #life of coarse. I wish it did, though. I wish I could find love like that were you'd do anything for that person. I wish that one day I won't love someone, but instead I'll be in love with someone.