Robert Benchley "There are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the world into two kinds of people, and those who don't."

Anonymous 9GAG This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody. Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it: but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

Mia Wallace "Three tomatoes walking down the street, a papa tomato, a mama tomato and a baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind and the papa tomato gets really angry, goes back and squeezes him and says 'ketchup!'"

Henry Oberlander "Everyone is willing to give you something. They are ready to give you something for whatever it is they are hungry for."