The Defiant One: I had enough of this shit,I'm 14 years old,when do you know when you become a man.Hell I must be cowardly,at night in the dark I'm still afraid,anxiety and fear.Theres only one thing to do,night came,now the hard part,sneaking down the hall,dam wooden floor squeaking.Placing foot down to the walls close not to make any noise.Shoes in hand socks on like an Indian stepping quietly. Now the bathroom floor,knowing the areas noisier,avoidance hard in this old house.The window now,rope pulleys and anchors noisy,slowly raise.Mother calls out "who's that walking up there",I hurry open the window and she calls out"Gary is that you",on the porch roof,I hang jump.Shes yelling "you son of a bitch".I'm down and run out the gate,down the street and she's still yelling. When I get my hands on you "damit",Gary you better get back here right now. I was on the cobblestone now,hit the ridge line to the woods,hit the path line to the dead end of Grace street.Last path over the ridge with the loose ground braking away,now I have to slow down,I make it to the small cliffs to the old Wabash Tunnel and warehouse meet up with the train tracks on the flats. Crossing the first trussel watching footing on the railroad-ties not to trip,now on the mainline, thirsty and sweaty I realised I'm walking on the railroad track stones with no shoes on.Laughing at my self while putting socks on,then shoes. Headed towards the old Boulder near the railway,double stack bridge,over "Shit creek".Around the boulder up the ridge to the main path,now to go in deep enough and further.Nestled down in a sitting position,listening to the cricket's and locust,and noises of unknown sounds.Traffic on 51 at a distance of cars,trucks and a train coming to the turn,whistle blowing. All night long,waiting and listening,the fear subsided at dawn,I'm not afraid any more.Now I think I'll go and sit on the cliff-line in the sun to warm up. My secret is my own,kept even after being blamed for being a runaway upon returning home,punishment completed.

Time: Years have past and I'm becoming more and more aware,inabilities and adaptation prior and now new skills,brought on by my history of jimmy-rigging tools and whatnot.Alone in a house with all the things I wanted,worked for,now just things valued or not to family or strangers. Behind me now the #life I built in a society of have and have-not,placed in a nursing home.Here the rat race continues,the battle of goals to be achieved in a 8hr shift.Do thay realise how it feels like to sit in a wheelchair,too dam weak to do,and if you fall,the staff upset over there "Paper work"needing to be done.Incident thay call it,call Doctor,call Daughter,then the craziest dam thing."The alarm"you now sit on that rings if you stand,thay have them for beds too. Sleeping at night when you soon realise people moving around,patients who have mental problems.Noise all night long,phones ringing,call bells going off and you here social worker and staff say "Dignity"is persuade. Workers are nice and food is OK,not home cooking,it's all gone,peace and quiet forever,better for it to have happened to me and not the wife.