I Sigh A Lot These Days #life is so cruel. Sigh. You can never take a break. Everybody just seemed bent on disappointing me again and again. One friend makes it up to me, another just decides to piss me off. Sigh. It's so tiring. I'm exhausted. I can't seem to breathe. I can't even bother to say anything any more. Sigh. Go ahead. Do as you please. There's no need to bother about how I feel, oh no no. Such a waste of time isn't it? Sigh.

Spat With The BFF. We've had our fair share of quarrels. And my bff pisses me off a lot at times, as I have probably pissed her off too, but things usually ends up with us making up the day after. This time however, I just can't take it anymore. Why do I always have to accept everyone else's shit? YOUR shit. You think you're some god damn princess? Making people wait on you? Take some responsibility for your actions damn it. But I know her. I know her well. I know she'll just laugh this off. Make a joke out of it. Make it seem like it's no big deal. Like it was not her fault at all. Of course. It never is. I want her to know I'm angry. No, more like disappointed and sad and hurt. So I left her that one last text and then I shut my phone off for the whole night. Forced myself some sleep to cool my head. If she tries to text me back, to call me, to try and reason or give me some lame excuse, I won't be able to hear it. God I do not need to hear it. It's been 24hours since the incident. Nothing from her. That's expected actually. I know she probably thinks I'm over reacting. It's all right. She's always like that. What do I want from her? Maybe an apology? Maybe some understanding to my disappointment? I don't know. I want to see how long this lasts though. I want to see what she'll do, if anything at all. How much does she care about our friendship? About us. And if nothing happens, if she expects me to text her first, then hell, goodbye.

This Generation What's with teenagers nowadays? They get emotional over pathetic love lives that we can all see won't last longer than their attention span. It's a pity. Beautiful smart young ones, destroyed by such trivial things. Do they not see there's more to #life than that? You cry about him. You bitch about her. You tweet to the public about your problems. You post photos of you crying. You skip school because you "have no mood". And then, you forgive each other. And the cycle repeats. Damn, you're still in school and you're already a mess. Get your priorities right little ones. In my days, when shit like this happens, you suck up and fix your own problem instead of telling the world about it.

Things Change. So this is how it's going to be. When friends have preferences among friends. And you are left as the 3rd person. It's cool. I understand.

I Don't Want To Wake Up. Still no sign of him. He didn't come as my Aunt said he would. So now I am rethinking my accusing Yoghurt of lying last night might be a mistake. Darn. I dreamt of him today. He came back. I hugged him. Smelled him. He felt so real. So sleek. Smelled like he always did, stinky. He mew out of satisfaction. And then, I woke up. Such short-lived happiness. I wish to have the same dream again. But I want it to never end. I want it to be real.