The wind Is warming leaves dance before my eyes Golden Happiness

Stuck... I have many blogs already, so might as well throw another into the mix. First a little back story. A brief one though as I want to get to the point. I waffle a lot sometimes. So I am writing an autobiography at 27 (nearly 28, 102 days to go) and there's quite an important and personal chapter that I have to write. I just can't seem to get out the first line. I have all the words in my head. I can talk about it. I have my diaries from that time, those times in my #life. It's not writers block and I don't have any unresolved issues. So why am I finding it so hard to get the words down?

Greatness... I searched for many years. My journey taught me this: Greatness can not be found in one place. In one person. In one action. But wherever you look for it. I achieved greatness by learning this. Now I see it in everything. Miss D x

Give Me Pain "Make me cry" The whisper came, barely audible. "Make me cry, I need to feel something. Something I know is real. I need that release. The endorphin's to rush through me. The tears make me real. The sobs cut into me. Bittersweet agony. I want it. I want to be punished. I'm too tired to do it myself. I want to feel pain. Pain above the pain I am already in. Its like I am suffocating and I can't catch my breath. I need to hear my heart beat faster, then I know it still works. My breath to be rapid, so I am thankful for every one. My head to go cloudy then I can finally think clearly. I'm begging. Just give me pain so I can move on...

Remember Her? Remember her? The girl who always had a smile for everyone? She would make time if she didn’t have it. She was always there for you. She used to sing her heart out with joy. In the shower, in the bar, in the street. She wanted to dance under the stars and spin and spin until she went dizzy and fell down. Her eyes used to twinkle with mischief. Inhale deeply and hold her breath when she got excited, until she nearly feinted. She loved, and was loved. The world could be ending, her #life could be ending, and still she would be smiling and dancing like there wasn’t a care in the world. #life is a series of moments. She lived for those moments. For smiling. For loving. For singing and dancing. For making people happy. For making you happy. She’s broken now. Too tired to dance. The only time she signs is when the songs express how much she is hurting. She doesn’t smile much anymore, smiles mean she is happy. She isn’t. Oh it may seem like it, shes good at pretending. She get up and puts on her happy face for the world. Wears heels to make herself feel taller, when really she feels so small. She still loves. Still cares. Will always make time for you and be here for you. She just wants someone to take her hand and make everything better. She’s too tired to keep on pretending. With her fake smile and her happy face. She wants to sing again and have that twinkle in her eye again. And right now, she isn’t strong enough to make that happen for herself. Do you remember the girl who used to dance under the stars?