Grace
-for my mother, who is unbelievably brilliant
Worn down after twenty-something years of giving
Still, grappling for something more to surrender for these;
Her own children.
Supporting them through her own suffering,
In a job she despised
For a #life they idealised
But she couldn't say no,
Couldn't refuse
Couldn't deny them of the #life they would choose
She loved too much
She was a mother of course
It was natural to care;
To want to give her children the best she could
The only parent they would know
For 10 years or so
But even though he wasn't there
When he was, they thought he cared
Naïvety at its finest time
He played his best tricks;
His best lines
This woman had sold her soul for her children
But that wasn't enough for them
They grew needy
And greedy
And wanting
Wanting for something more
So once they'd sucked the #life out of the woman they called mother
Away they crawled
To the one who had remained absent
For most of their lives
But who was suddenly so interested
Now he had arrived.
The one to play house
With his son's new child
Whilst his mother was left cold
And waiting too long a while
But she cared.
Profusely she cared.
Undeniably she cared.
To the ends of this great Earth she would care!
Til her heart stops beating, and even then
Would she care.
But he took no notice
He had decided
She was nothing to him now
For no reason she could decipher;
She saw no wrong-doing in all she had done for him
But this as a repayment was too much to bear
Being cut off- no, severed, hacked, wrenched
Away from her son and granddaughter
But for what?
This mother blamed herself
Broke down in tears
She told me everything
She told me of her fears
That it was all her fault
For the way that we turned out
I cried and told her "no, no!"
But it didn't affect her doubt
The things each of us had done
Hadn't been her fault at all
But our own foolish mistakes
Our meditated fall
From grace, but she kept hers with the days
The days that so eagerly passed
Which helped,
Because it meant she could forget the past.